The world is officially as mad as a hatter. If the on-going shambles of Brexit wasn’t chaotic enough, the actual delay to this infuriatingly infernal process has added some much-needed mayhem to the equation.
Toss in some Trump-inspired shenanigans and the current global climate is like being in some weird psychedelic experience; the kind folk would get when they overindulged with a mind-altering substance which left them convinced that the brick wall they were staring at was slowly smearing and sliding around like oil in a puddle.
It’s broadly equivalent to the hallucinogenic effect regular readers get when they absorb the opening meanderings of the Tuesday column.
I’m convinced that if the planet was forced to take a drugs test right now, it would fail stringent anti-doping procedures.
Let’s face it, this birling clump of space rock is off its head on something. It has to be.
All of which brings us clanking and juddering into this week’s peek at the world of golf ...
NAMING AND SHAMING … BUT DOES IT DEPEND WHOSE NAME?
There has always been a school of thought that believes golf, compared to other sports, is cleaner than a whistle that’s just been sterilised and put through a 90 degrees wash cycle.
READ MORE: Tiger Woods returns to the WGC Dell Technologies Matchplay
Inclusion in the Olympics, of course, brought the game under the microscope of the World Anti-Doping Agency and all its associated terms and conditions. Since then, there have been lots of paper shuffling and talk about protocols, integrity and transparency.
The other day, the PGA Tour announced that Robert Garrigus had been handed a three-month ban for violating the circuit’s anti-doping programme. The particular drug was marijuana which, he himself noted, is legal in many US states but not permitted by the tour.
Garrigus (pictured), a 41-year-old who has one tour title to his name, accepted the consequences of his actions but the wider issue concerns his own battles with addictions and how this suspension may affect his rehabilitation.
In an online statement he admitted that “after a long period of sobriety, I had a relapse and subsequently failed a drugs test.
It doesn’t matter if you are one day, one week or nine years clean; one misstep, one lapse in judgment can impact your life in monumental fashion. I hope this new chapter in my life will now show people to never relax in their battle with addiction.”
At a time when the PGA Tour is now openly embracing gambling entities as a means of revenue, while many of its marquee players have alcohol brands as major sponsors, the naming and shaming of Garrigus for smoking “weed” seems somewhat hypocritical. Not so long ago, a certain Tiger Woods was found with more drugs in his system than Keith Richards after the former world No 1 was arrested for DUI.
“The tour is committed to helping him in any way we can, as he is a member of our family,” said a statement from the PGA Tour at the time. That same supportive sense of rallying round one of their own hasn’t be extended to Garrigus. But then he is No 458 in the world and hardly a marketable force eh?
CAN DONALD ENJOY THE ROARING FORTIES?
Paul Casey’s successful defence of the Valspar Championship on Sunday was the third victory on the spin by a European golfer on the PGA Tour. Old Trump will be wanting to build a wall at a variety of clubhouse gates to keep them out at this rate.
Away from the ceremony and back-slapping that greeted the winner, the quiet but resolute ninth place finish of his English compatriot Luke Donald offered hope of a rejuvenation for the 41-year-old.
READ MORE: Paul Casey hopes the best is still to come
The former world No 1’s last PGA Tour win was in 2012 and since then, a grim, injury-plagued spell led to him slithering to 919th in the global pecking order prior to just his 13th outing in two years at the weekend.
Donald has been a Ryder Cup vice-captain and has performed TV work for Sky in recent months. But those are the kind of duties you can do when your playing days are over.
Hopefully those days are not done yet for Donald. In this game, life can easily begin at, well, 41.
OPPORTUNITY KNOX IN LAST-GASP MASTERS PUSH
As it stands, the bold Sandy Lyle will be the only Scottish representative at next month’s Masters.
The clock is tick-tocking for Russell Knox as the cut-off for qualifying looms like the deadline for completing your tax return.
At No.62 in the world, Knox needs a rousing couple of weeks. The top 50 on the rankings after this week’s WGC Matchplay will be guaranteed a meander up Magnolia Lane.
And there’s still a Masters spot up for grabs for the winner of the following week’s Valero Texas Open.
Let the race for the line begin . . .
AND ANOTHER THING
SPEAKING to Clare-Marie Macaulay the other week about the fine work she does at Paisley Golf Club, the 32-year-old welcomed the rise of more females in PGA roles. One of those is Heather MacRae, the former Scottish Girls and British Women’s Strokeplay champion, who is doing her bit to get more people from all walks of life into the game at Stirling Golf Club.
It was sobering, therefore, to hear that Heather has just undergone treatment for cervical cancer. “I’m learning that my strength and determination extend far beyond the gym and the golf course,” she said with great defiance. We wish her all the very best.
Well and truly overwhelmed at the messages of support, the stories shared, positive thoughts and most importantly the number of ladies telling me they will be booking their cervical screening after reading my post. For now - just one shot at a time 💪🏼💕 #bestrongorgetstronger
— HEATHER MACRAE (@heathermacgolf) March 25, 2019
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