STEVE Clarke’s chances of surviving as Scotland manager seemed about as high as Lieutenant Dan’s hopes of riding out Hurricane Milton on his 22 foot sailboat Seashell in Tampa Bay Harbour earlier this week in the immediate aftermath of the Euro 2024 defeat to Hungary back in June.
Lieutenant Dan – real name Joseph Malinowski – became the focus of worldwide media attention once again when it emerged he would not be joining his fellow Floridians and fleeing inland to safety as the second most intense tropical cyclone ever recorded in the Gulf of Mexico edged closer.
Mercifully, the unlikely American hero, just like his namesake in the movie Forrest Gump and just as he had when Hurricane Helene hit last month, lived to tell the tale. “I haven’t even spilled my coffee,” he informed his 575,000 TikTok followers as winds of 185 miles-per-hour battered his tiny vessel.
Members of the Tartan Army were hurling their half-full plastic pint tumblers of Bitburger away in disgust – always a sure sign of their unhappiness – when the national team slumped to an excruciating 1-0 loss in their final Group A match in Stuttgart this summer and once again failed to reach the knockout rounds of a major tournament.
Their calls for Clarke to disembark the good ship Scotland and sail off into the sunset fell, just like the appeals to Malinowski to evacuate from concerned meteorologists, public officials and police officers, on deaf ears. The thrawn sexagenarian, just like the tattooed sailor, has remained at the helm and weathered the storm. For the time being at least.
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His destination remains the World Cup in Canada, Mexico and the United States in 2026. There are, though, likely to be very choppy waters ahead. Can he avoid his charges running aground in the Nations League matches against Croatia in Zagreb tonight and Portugal at Hampden on Tuesday evening? They will be difficult outings for him to navigate successfully and then some.
He will be without Angus Gunn, Zander Clark, Scott McKenna, Kieran Tierney, Liam Cooper, Jack Hendry, Greg Taylor, Aaron Hickey, Nathan Patterson, Stuart Armstrong, Lewis Ferguson, John McGinn, Tommy Conway and Lawrence Shankland for this important double header. Sorry, but it is unrealistic to expect his brave boys to blow anyone away when he has such an extensive injury list.
Yes, Craig Gordon and Che Adams are back onboard, Andy Robertson, Grant Hanley, Ryan Porteous, John Souttar, Billy Gilmour, Kenny McLean, Scott McTominay, Ryan Christie, James Forrest, Lewis Morgan, Ryan Gauld, Ben Doak and Lyndon Dykes are present and correct and Nicky Devlin, Liam Lindsay, Jack MacKenzie, Andy Irving and Kevin Nisbet have freshened the squad up after being drafted in.
But just avoiding tankings against the Russia 2018 finalists, who are likely to field Josko Gvardiol, Luka Modric and Ivan Perisic, away and the Euro 2016 champions, who have Nuno Mendes, Bernardo Silva, Bruno Fernandes, Diogo Jota, Joao Felix and a certain Cristiano Ronaldo at their disposal, at home will be an achievement of sorts.
Scotland fans were content with how Robertson and his team mates acquitted themselves against Poland and Portugal last month despite the 3-2 and 2-1 losses they suffered because the all-round displays were a considerable improvement on what had preceded them. Indeed, the visitors were applauded off the field in the Estadio da Luz by their proud followers.
It is vital that Clarke’s men, who are competing in the top tier of the Nations League against three of the best teams on the planet for the first time, keep their compatriots onside before their World Cup qualifying campaign gets underway in March. They can ill afford any lingering resentment in the stands to resurface in the coming months.
A page on the for-profit crowdfunding platform GoFundMe entitled “Support Lieutenant Dan’s Seafaring Dreams” has raised $37,000 in recent days. It reads: "Let's come together and show our support for this modern-day pirate by helping him get a new ship to sail the seas!" He may well end up being the proud new owner of a superyacht.
The Scotland manager cannot go out and buy any new players for his side. He has to make do with the best talent which clubs in this country have been able to produce as he seeks to meet the often unrealistic expectations of supporters. Alas, he does not exactly have a galaxy of stars to choose from.
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Anthony Ralston, his first choice right-back, is still a peripheral figure at Celtic. Centre-half Hanley, meanwhile, has played a grand total of two minutes for Norwich City in the past six weeks. Goalkeeper Gordon turns 42 in December.
Seismic change, as the articles in the Game Changer supplement which we have published today underline, is required from grassroots level up if this country is to start churning out technically proficient, mentally strong and physically robust footballers who are capable of making the step up to full international level and excelling.
Until that happens, Steve Clarke will, like Lieutenant Dan on his sailboat in Tampa Bay Harbour, be doing very well to keep his head above water.
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