The diarist has never been very technology savvy. My idea of a cutting edge contraption, for instance, is the pumice stone.

As you can imagine then, yesterday’s global IT outage had no impact whatsoever on my Open labours. You don’t need a fancy system to operate a feather quill, after all.

Amid the high-tech hoopla, the diarist was reminded of a great declaration of advancement by the R&A at the Hoylake Open of 2014.

As the then chief executive, Peter Dawson, waxed lyrical about the virtues of “our groundbreaking Wi-Fi network”, a ham-fisted workman thundered a spade through a vital fibre optic cable outside and brought the entire media centre to its knees.

The diarist and his quill had the last laugh.

*Friday was cut day at The Open, with the leading 70 and ties progressing to the closing 36-holes and the rest saying ta-ta. Like a corny, end-of-the-pier comedian, meanwhile, the diarist is here all week.

Peering down the drawsheet ahead of the second day of play, I noticed the name of Denwit David Boriboonsub of Thailand and was reminded of the hoary press centre gag about golfers from that Southeast Asian country never missing the cut in The Open.

“Really?,” chirped an intrigued colleague. “Aye,” the diarist replied. “Because the qualifying mark is always 70 and Thais.” I’ll get my coat.

*It’s not just The Open that’s in full swing this weekend. Apparently, hundreds of, ahem, racy revellers have gathered down in Lincolnshire for a carnal carnival called ‘Swingathon’.

According to reports, irate residents of the sleepy village where this coital curiosity is taking place have complained about ‘screaming and moaning’ coming from the site.

The racket sounds like the din the golf writers created the other night when Dan Brown pinched The Open lead at 9:35pm and we all had to re-write our bloody copy.

The Herald’s coverage of The 152nd Open at Royal Troon is brought to you in association with Fairmont St. Andrews.