England face Spain in Sunday's Euro 2024 final, but who should Scots support? Mark Smith says he'll be cheering on Gareth Southgate's men, but here Adam Miller says it's Anyone But England for him.

‘I wouldn’t mind if England did okay’

Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar speaking at the weekend, on behalf of himself and at least seven other people in Scotland. 

Yes, it’s England land a favourable draw time, which means it’s England reach the final time, which means it’s handwringing about Scottish people not supporting England time. 

Should Gareth Southgate’s men fail to beat Spain on Sunday, Euro 2024 will be remembered as a tournament in which Scotland and England both scored two goals in the group stage before going on to not win a trophy, with the key difference being one of the two countries returning home to pleasant tap water.

Should they win, we will be subjected to decades of Euro 2024 nostalgia. Imagine all the 1966 references we’ve spent our lives enduring, but this time from the mouth of Jake Humphrey. Keir Starmer will repeatedly do that thing he does of being a genuine, lifelong football fan while sounding like he’s just had the rules explained to him in a two-minute briefing from an advisor. Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds will update their lyrics. Again.

Like just about every Scottish person I know, I began Euro 2024 supporting two teams – Scotland, and Whoever’s Playing England. Some might say ‘You’re supposed to be a grown man, but before England v Slovakia you tweeted in Slovak, before England v Switzerland you tweeted in German (presumably because you couldn’t find an accurate Romansh translation online) and before England v the Netherlands you tweeted the lyrics to unofficial Dutch anthem Links Rechts by Snollebollekes. Is this not all a bit immature and petty? Embarrassing, even?’

Well…yes. Of course it is. It’s football, and this is how football rivalries work. You get taken to your first match as a child, told that you hate a particular team a few miles down the road and then spend the rest of your life hoping for their downfall.

We have jobs, relationships and awkward family gatherings at which we’re required to be mature and restrained. 

Football is a release from that, and rivalry is an essential component. In football as in any other walk of life, the only thing sweeter than your victory is your rival’s defeat. With that in mind, only contrarians, people with no interest in football, and Anas Sarwar, would struggle to comprehend Scots not supporting England. If they are in fact football fans, the sort of people who criticise you for wanting England to lose are almost certainly the sort of people who believe the addition of VAR has improved football. 

Read more: 

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. Mark Smith on why he's supporting England against Spain

Rivalry is fundamental to football, but many who are unfamiliar with the game will misinterpret it and look for some larger significance that simply doesn’t exist.

It’s easy to ascribe political and nationalist sentiment to ‘Anyone But England’, but for the vast majority of us it’s just about having a laugh, as well as finding a reason to care about the outcome of a final, with our own involvement having ended weeks ago with Steve Clarke and his men being played onto a bus by an oompah band in what would have been the summer’s least dignified exit had the people of South West Norfolk not unseated Liz Truss.

It’s a rivalry between two neighbours. We wouldn’t expect mutual appreciation and respect between fans of Celtic and Rangers or Hearts and Hibs, so why the po-faced attitude towards Scotland and England?

My phone is full of contacts who are ‘Anyone But England’, but the idea that any of them might genuinely hate England is absurd.

We’ve all got English friends who will be insufferable if they win the tournament, just as we would have had Scotland built on the momentum of that magnificent first nine minutes against Germany and made their way to the final. At some point after the initial euphoria of winning, many will turn to Twitter and laugh at the Scotland fans who longed for their defeat. And rightly so. 

Had Scotland gone further than England in this tournament, I would have expected English fans to be ‘Anyone But Scotland’, and I wouldn’t have had a problem with it. Football isn’t supposed to be some happy clappy environment where we’re all just jolly pleased to take part.

We’ve had weeks of locals telling us how well we performed off the pitch, with a petition started by German fans calling for an annual reunion of the two countries having received over 86,000 signatures so far, but on it Scotland were inept, timid and, worst of all, just plain boring.

With the hangovers from Munich, Stuttgart and Köln only just subsiding, a Spanish victory - preferably thanks to a Jordan Pickford error - would provide the kind of on-field excitement that we’ve been deprived of in this tournament. That is, if you don’t include Kieran Tierney celebrating a throw-in after three minutes against Germany. 

With just one game standing between England and glory, you might find your resolve faltering. Maybe those stirring words from Sarwar have you trying to convince yourself that you wouldn’t mind them winning. You might even look at a team featuring the likes of Bukayo Saka and feel a twinge of guilt for harbouring ill will towards a generally likeable group of young men. England’s current generation certainly lacks a John Terry type. Now there was a man it took zero effort to despise.

Don’t fall at the final hurdle. You’ve got this. Imagine the viral clip of Rio Ferdinand performatively shouting ‘Euro 2024 Player of the Tournament! Euro 2024 Player of the Tournament!’ as Kobbie Mainoo steps up to take the winning penalty. Listen to Lee Dixon’s punditry. Google ‘James Corden restaurant server treatment’. Listen to Danny Murphy’s punditry.

Who am I supporting on Sunday? Cualquiera Menos Inglaterra, since you ask.