THERE is an old sketch from the BBC comedy series That Mitchell and Webb Look which has become something of a You Tube classic since being posted online and is well worth a view just now if you are suffering from those post-Christmas blues and in need of a chuckle.
“Watch the football!” lampoons the overhyped and oversaturated nature of Sky Sports’ coverage of the British game and always manages to raise a smile no matter how many times you have watched it.
David Mitchell plays a presenter who gets increasingly delirious as he strides around an empty stadium and promotes the matches the satellite broadcaster – such as “the giants of Charlton against the titans of Ipswich” - will be screening live in the coming days.
“Thousands and thousands of hours of football, each one more climactic than the last!” he exclaims. “Constant, dizzying, 24-hour, year-long, endless football! Every kick of it massively mattering to someone presumably!”
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Sky’s output is very polished indeed. They have outstanding hosts, exceptional commentators and knowledgeable big name pundits. Every incident of note is captured from a multitude of different angles and then dissected in depth. Their programmes are highly professional and hugely entertaining.
They are, however, certainly guilty at times of publicising humdrum fixtures which even the most passionate supporter can struggle to muster any enthusiasm for to a ridiculous degree. “Watch the football!” absolutely nails it.
The skit springs to mind every year as the January transfer window draws to its conclusion. No move is missed by their slick rolling news channel this month. Very often, they are the first to break who is going where, for how much and for how long.
Still, the excitement which the likes of Hayley McQueen, Ed Draper and David Garrido exude as, say, Jack Diamond agrees a loan from Sunderland to Carlisle United until the end of the season can be a tad over-the-top.
Levels of hysteria are always ramped up tenfold on deadline day. The sheer elation about the amount of money which Premier League clubs have splashed out in a bid to secure a Conference League spot or avoid relegation to the Championship is quite frankly baffling.
“And that takes the total spend to over £800 million!” beams someone inanely. And this is a positive thing is it? Are we supposed to be impressed with this show of vulgar largesse? Should the supporters who are queuing up outside food banks so they can feed their starving families celebrate this obscene outlay?
Fans are certainly interested in who their heroes are bringing on board and who is exiting. Goodness knows, they are the topics which have been dominating these sports pages in the past few weeks. But does every “done deal” really need to be trumpeted by Sky as if Brazilian superstar Neymar has joined Paris Saint-Germain from Barcelona for a world record €222 fee?
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Not infrequently, the hoopla proves to be an awful lot of fuss about not very much indeed. One reporter this week described January as “the tumbleweed window”. They had a point. This is, as any manager will testify, a difficult time for a club to carry out any significant business which has an immediate bearing on their fortunes.
In Scotland in particular. There have been numerous comings and goings in recent days. Benjamin Mbunga Kimpioka has arrived St Johnstone from AIK in Sweden on a free. Ryan Astley has joined Dundee from Everton on a free transfer. Callan Elliott has rocked up at Motherwell after departing Wellington Phoenix.
Are any of the arrivals going to make a seismic difference to their new teams going forward? Is a struggling side which has been flirting dangerously with the drop really going to undergo a miraculous transformation overnight, shoot up the table and survive just because of one or two individuals? It does happen. Just not very often.
Are any of the signings which Celtic and Rangers have made going to influence the outcome of the Scottish title race?
There are still a few days to go until the January window “slams shut”. So there could well be some last-minute acquisitions who improve the Parkhead and Ibrox clubs’ chances of being crowned champions. The services of Craig Bellamy, Robbie Keane and Aaron Ramsey, to name just three, have all been secured late in the day.
Rangers, who have landed striker Fabio Silva and midfielder Mohamed Diomande, certainly look to have fared slightly better than Celtic, who have only added winger Nicolas Kuhn, to date. But are they going to be vastly superior? Are they going to have an edge on their dominant city rivals as a result of their recruitment? It is unlikely.
Philippe Clement will probably be better placed to negotiate all of the domestic and European games which are coming up more easily. His opposite number Brendan Rodgers, though, still has an abundance of talent in every position.
It takes time, a lot longer than four weeks, to build a squad capable of lifting the league trophy.
We shall see in May if the January signings prove to be game changers. In the meantime, make sure you stay tuned to Sky Sports News for all the latest earth-shattering developments. Watch the player! He’s going to move!
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