I rotate my head out of the water to bring in some air to my body.
I glimpse the sun and its reflection across the water.
I am in the middle of Loch Morlich at the foot of the Cairngorms. It is just me and the water.
Not quite cold-water therapy as the soaring temperatures have given a nice warm feel to the water.
I am not swim fit, but I am also not here to break any records.
This is for my mind more than anything else.
There is a certain calm when you are in the middle of a loch.
Since I have come home, I have enjoyed training more – not following a programme or any data driven workouts.
Just having a coffee, and deciding on the spot what I am going to do.
If I’m honest, swimming in the loch wasn’t at the top of my list, but I am glad I found myself there this week.
I go at 8pm to catch the last hour of sun as the place is calmer.
It is mostly myself and some ducks in mid-week, a huge contrast to London.
I have been thinking a lot these last few weeks about how much that last cancer scare took out of me.
Recharging from nature here in the Highlands is leaving me with a state of calm I have not felt in years.
It isn’t just nature, its community, this week.
As I sat in my garden drinking coffee thinking about what I was going to do, Finlay Mickel arrived at my house.
“Let’s go for a ride on the bikes,” he said, “then up to take a dip in Loch Morlich.”
Perfect I thought. On to the gravel bikes and 90 minutes later we had returned home without passing a car.
I definitely think gravel riding is the way forward for seeing Scotland, getting fit and away from cars.
I have Finlay to thank for getting me swimming this week as after swimming in Jamaica I have probably become soft to the freshness of Scottish water.
As I plunged my head under the water, I thought “this is not cold”.
I just felt incredible in the water, and I slept better.
Looking up to see snow on the Cairngorms has got to be one of the greatest feelings of calm I have had and a million miles away from MRI scanners.
The next morning, I had both Finlay and Noel Baxter at the door.
Baxter had planned a route. Normally this means I am going to suffer as sometimes he forgets I am paralysed from the neck down, but that’s okay.
I like that he doesn’t treat me any different to how I was before I was paralysed.
Noel saw me take my first steps out of my wheelchair in 2016 after I had been paralysed, so he has lived this with me.
I don’t often pause to think what impact this has had on those close to me as I am always trying to smash some form of sporting challenge, but I know it must impact people.
Anyway, it wasn’t long until we all forgot I was paralysed and were off road on the gravel bikes riding at full speed under the watchful eyes of the Cairngorm mountains.
The great thing with riding on gravel is it is an even better gateway to that illusive flow state that I have mentioned in past columns.
That flow state is key for me to have a healthy life mentally.
After three hours of hard riding, we rolled back on to Aviemore.
I was feeling slightly beat up, extremely warm and in need of fluids and a cold dip.
It wasn’t long until I was neck deep in Loch Morlich again and the evening swim was much needed after three hours on the bike with two former Olympic skiers.
It was a time to just swim slowly take in the beauty around me, to pause metaphorically and just be, away from all the noise of life and enjoy just being in the middle of a Scottish loch.
I didn’t want to leave, I don’t want to return to London, to face more hospital wards and the noise of the city.
I also know that is not an option, but for now I will make the most of nature and these special moments.
Okay, it is time to put on my cycling kit and ride back to the loch for a dip.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here