Yes, you read that right. Jack Grealish’s calves. They’re quite a thing apparently. The Manchester City and England footballer has picked up a substantial following as a result of the size and definition of his calves.
I’m sorry but who is this man?
Grealish is a 26-year-old footballer who joined Aston Villa at the age of six and made his professional debut with the Midlands club in 2014. He signed for Manchester City in the summer for the sum of £100 million, the biggest deal in British football history.
And what exactly is so special about his calves?
Well, they’re quite chunky and that is deemed to be quite attractive to those who like that kind of thing. The Times art critic Waldemar Januszczak has just argued that they should be in an art gallery.
In fact, aesthetic appreciation of Mr Grealish’s calves is quite widespread. You can buy a calendar devoted to them. Or you could purchase The Wonderful World of Jack Grealish’s Calves jigsaw. They even have their own Twitter account, @grealish_calves (although, to be fair, it’s a bit short of followers).
And that makes him special?
Let’s face it, the calves of Billy Gilmour and Ryan Jack don’t get their own calendar.
Oh, for goodness’ sake, who are Billy Gilmour and Ryan Jack?
You’re not a football fan, are you?
I’ll have you know I’m a big Stenhousemuir fan. Anyway, what does Jack Grealish do to get these amazing calves then?
Nothing special, he told Men’s Health magazine last year. “People always say, ‘You must do loads of calf raises.’ But I really don’t.”
Grealish thinks it has more to do with the fact that he prefers to keep his socks rolled down and so they’re always on display. Others have suggested it was because he played Gaelic football as a kid.
Has he the best calves in football then?
It is possible that Xherdan Shaqiri, the Swiss footballer formerly of Liverpool and now at Lyon, has even bigger calves than Grealish.
This is all quite fetishistic, isn’t it?
Just a little. But it could be worse. People could be obsessed with Andy Murray’s hips.
I think quite a lot of tennis fans are obsessed with Andy Murray’s hips.
You may be right. But that’s more of a medical interest than an aesthetic one.
Are you telling me there is no Andy Murray calendar for sale this year?
You can buy anything on eBay these days.
You’ll be telling me I can buy a calendar dedicated to Boris Johnson’s hair next?
Umm, well there is a calendar for sale on Amazon that does seem particularly interested in it.
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