On the wall of Motherwell chief executive Alan Burrows’ small but perfectly formed office within the corridors of Fir Park, is inscribed the phrase ‘Aut inveniam viam aut faciam’, Latin for ‘I shall either find a way, or make one.’
It is a motto that has served him well during a rollercoaster 10-year path from the terraces to the top of the club he lives and breathes for, and one that could just as easily apply to the way that manager Stephen Robinson has gone about his business since Burrows and the Motherwell board entrusted the task of reinvigorating an ageing first-team squad to him.
All of that work has led to this afternoon, as Robinson leads his side to Hampden to take on Rangers in the Betfred Cup semi-final. And, you would think, it would be a moment for Burrows himself to relax and enjoy after pouring everything he has into helping his club succeed in this last decade. The relegation battles and subsequent play-off, all the worries that came with that over the security of employees' livelihoods, would surely all be cast aside on such an afternoon?
Perhaps, but not entirely. As Burrows’ example shows, a fan moving into a role of such responsibility at his own club should come with a health warning. He has become good at putting a face on the toll it can all take on both he and his family.
Mingling with the press in the immediate aftermath of Motherwell’s thumping win over Aberdeen at Fir Park that brought them to the national stadium today, Burrows - celebratory beer in hand - seemed relaxed and carefree. Little did any of us know though, he was feeling like a crumpled shammy on the inside after being through the emotional wringer.
“It was 2-0 with 10 minutes to go,” Burrows recalled. “Allan Campbell hit the post, and at that point my nerves got the better of me and I had to leave the ground.
“When Louis Moult scored that third goal I was standing down at Catherine Street, because I had to walk away. I walked down by the flats and I heard a roar, and I thought ‘f***, that’s Aberdeen. There’s five minutes to go, please don’t do this, please god, please.’ My heart was in my mouth and I felt physically sick.
“I looked at my phone and it flashed up that it was a Louis Moult cracker. What a relief. I then realised I was about 10 minutes away from the ground and had to get back sharpish. People were saying to me on the way back up; ‘cracking result, but should you no’ be at the game?’
“That’s the reason why you see me pacing about at the front of the stand during games, I’m a nervous wreck.
“I was delighted that we won the game, but with the nature of my job I was also thinking about what the financial upside would be should we go through. It’s kind of similar in this game.
“There’s always that constant financial pressure at a club like ours, so if you get to a cup semi-final or the top six or you even sell a player, it just allows you to breathe that wee bit easier. Nobody puts the tools away, but it just doesn’t feel as if that foot is on your throat quite as much.
“At the same time, if you are working in those conditions and you do achieve something, it’s all the sweeter. So, fingers crossed for Sunday.”
While going into today’s game as underdogs, it would be churlish to say that there isn’t any pressure on Motherwell in a major semi-final. Burrows calls it “good pressure”, having experienced plenty of the other variety.
“You feel the onus of that responsibility on your shoulders, because it is Motherwell,” he said
“I’ve often asked myself if I was doing this job at another club, would I feel quite the same pressure? Probably not.
“You get stick online when you work in football, that’s par for the course, but nobody gives me more stick than I do.
“In the context of supporting Motherwell and the responsibility I feel on my shoulders for it to go well, it puts a huge strain on me, mentally and physically. It puts a huge strain on my family too. If I go home at night after a defeat I’m a complete write-off, not just because the team has got beat, but because I’m thinking of the longer-term implications and what it means for us.
“It intensifies it for me. Some people tell me that it isn’t healthy, and it probably isn’t, but I’m just so desperate for it to go well and for the team to succeed, the club to do well and the punters to see things like cup finals.
“I say this to my family and probably every Motherwell fan has repeated this mantra to their sons or daughters, but it’s the painful things that make the good things really, really special.”
The experience of working so closely with former Motherwell manager Stuart McCall was a hugely rewarding one for Burrows, as it was for the club as a whole, but it came with the side-effect of catching his superstitious beliefs.
There is a vision that he has been having all season before matches that he is desperately hoping becomes reality, and rest assured, it will be conjured once more this morning.
“I’ve had this dream all season long, and funnily enough it is always the League Cup, never the Scottish,” he said.
“For some reason I always see Gael Bigirimana lifting the trophy. I have no idea why it’s Bigi, but I think about it all the time.
“Almost from the first game I’ve seen him at Hampden lifting that trophy. That vision has been replaying in my mind over and over again.
“You always hear people in mind coaching talking about imagining things happening and they will come true and all that crap, and I don’t know if it works or exists, but I will be visualising it just in case.”
As he is such a proponent of the power of picturing goals, I put another scenario his way. He is at Hampden this afternoon, and he glances up at one of the massive scoreboards behind the goal to see that Motherwell have a little over five minutes to hold on to their one-goal lead over Rangers.
“Oh god,” he says, “I’ll probably be in the dressing room, the car park or halfway to Toryglen.
“I’m just desperate for the team to do well. Yes, I’m the chief exec and I’ve worked for the club for 10 years, and that changes you as a person. I couldn’t say I’m a bona-fide fan like everyone else, because I haven’t sat over there for 10 years, therefore I see things differently and I need to at least act like a chief exec.
“If you strip all that away though, I’m just a punter that loves the club. I’ve been brought up to love this club since I was a young boy, like any other ‘Well fan.
“If we win on Sunday, you might just see me get carried away.”
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