My first experience of sport was kicking a ball about at primary school but I really got into sport at the age of 10 when I began skiing. Our family lived in Rattray and it was really close to Glenshee.
At the same time, my dad also got me a junior membership for Blairgowrie Golf Club which I think was for the simple reason that golf got me out of the house for hours and hours.
When I was a kid, I had loads of energy and I loved being outside doing sport – when I was as young as 11, I’d hitchhike from my home to Glenshee, ski all day and then get the service bus back home at night.
Then when I was in second year at high school we moved to Perth and the big sports at Perth Academy were rugby and cricket.
I wasn’t keen on either of them for a couple of reasons. First, I was really far behind because I hadn’t played rugby before and I was so small that I’d have got flattened. And, secondly, I didn’t go through puberty until I was about 20 so I was terrified of the communal showers.
I didn’t even play football at secondary school but a few of my mates played for a team called Perth Victoria and so I would go along to watch but I always harboured a hope that I might get a game now and again.
They played on the South Inch and when the town was getting ready for the Perth show, giant fences would be erected. So, whenever the ball got booted over the fence, I’d be sent to collect it.
But then one time, I was told to just stay out there. That was a devastating day and it meant that I never got to find out if I could have been a half-decent footballer.
Despite that dispiriting incident, I liked football and my pals and I used to go along to watch St Johnstone regularly. It was a good team back then. Willie Ormond was the manager and we were third in the league one year. We played in Europe too and I saw three home European games in the 1970s and we weren’t beaten in any of them.
When I was younger, I went to a lot of Scotland internationals – well over 50 – and I was at Wembley in ’75 and ’79 for the England games. That was the Kenny Dalglish and Joe Jordan days.
I even hitchhiked to Denmark when I was 18 for a Word Cup qualifier. That was the game when, in the aftermath of the match, there was a rammy in a disco and five Scotland players were banned.
These days, I still watch a lot of football – too much football probably. When I was doing the comedy circuit down in London, I’d always try to go to the big grounds near wherever I was gigging and I still do that. Wherever I’m gigging, I’ll find whichever ground is closest and go along to watch a game.
I get a few perks too. Last year I hosted the evening of Sir Alex Ferguson’s golf day and so, in return, he invited me to a game.
So a few weeks ago, I went to Old Trafford to watch Man United play Watford. I was sitting next to Sir Alex in the director’s box and it was unbelievable to see how highly he’s regarded there. The fans still absolutely dote on him. He’s very hands-off, though. I had it in my head that he would be nipping down to the dressing room at half-time telling Jose what to do but there was none of that, I think he just genuinely enjoys going along and hearing the banter from the fans.
I go to a lot of rugby too. I went to the Wales match at this year’s Six Nations and I’m going to the Italy game too.
And I love watching golf live. I’ve been to a couple of Ryder Cups as a fan and the one at Gleneagles in particular was great. Everybody knows that you get a better view of the golf on the telly but I love the atmosphere when you’re at the course.
The two sports I most enjoy doing are still golf and skiing. I’m playing a fair bit of golf these days and I play with some of the guys I was at school with and I’m still just about managing to get round with a half-decent score.
My ski buddies are GP's and surgeons but we’re looking for an orthopedic surgeon to join our group because I have to admit that we’re all getting a bit creakier.
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