Are smartphones detrimental to kids? When this question comes up, I always remember the same image. My daughter was a toddler and we were sheltering from the rain in the Botanic Gardens building when a tour group of teenagers came in, aged about 14. They crammed onto a long bench, jostling each other as they settled like starlings on a wire, and then a weird torpor descended.

This was a group of adolescents away from parents and home, boys and girls together, but it was unlike any group of teenagers I’d ever seen. Was there banter? Flirting? Goofing around? Eye contact? None of the above: there was silence as every single child – 15 or 20 of them – got out their mobile phone and sat motionless staring at it.

The occasional outbreak of two or three simultaneous smiles indicated that some were exchanging messages with each other – children sitting with their legs touching communicating via a satellite 22,000 miles above their heads – but chat was there none. None.

I was fascinated. New to parenthood, this was quite a revelation. Clearly things had changed dramatically since I was at school. It suggested that the old dull habit of face-to-face interaction had fallen out of favour like vinyl wallpaper. Mobile phones for some teenagers had replaced speech; emojis had replaced body language. I felt old – and uneasy.

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In the last few years, anxiety about the impact of smartphones on children has increased exponentially, to the extent that a grassroots resistance movement has sprung up. Smartphone Free Childhood was started by a couple of mums in England as a WhatsApp group to offer mutual support in their joint decision to delay giving their children mobiles, but has become a nationwide network of local parent and carer groups who sign a “pact” not to give their kids smartphones until they are 14.

Law Primary School in North Berwick has 233 signatories. It doesn’t seem to be about forcing a policy on parents, but giving people the confidence to delay by reassuring them that their child won’t be the only one without a smartphone.

Smartphone Free Childhood’s website is a bit scary. After I read through the homepage (on a desktop computer) I had started to feel like smartphones were the invention of Beelzebub.

Can it really be that bad? Well, a review of the evidence is not altogether reassuring.

Smartphones are a gateway to a largely unfiltered adult world, particularly through social media apps. A flurry of tragic incidents, like the death of 14-year-old Molly Russell after viewing self-harm and suicide content online, have exposed the unforgiveable failure of the tech giants to restrict access to harmful content. The murder of trans teenager Brianna Ghey after her killer viewed violent content on the dark web, further underlined the dangers the internet poses.

When smartphone use among teenagers starts to resemble an addiction, it’s linked to significantly increased levels of anxiety, depression and insomnia, according to research by the National Institute for Health and Care Research.

Many parents are worried about phone useMany parents are worried about phone use (Image: Ian Allenden/Alamy Stock Photo)

A third of Scottish pupils report being distracted by phones in almost every lesson, a finding that underlies the Scottish Government’s move this summer to let headteachers ban smartphones in schools.

But you don’t have to be addicted to suffer harm. Cyberbullying. Sextortion (the National Crime Agency warns teenaged boys are particular targets). Sexual harassment. Children accidentally seeing pornography or violent images that can’t be unseen (pornography exposure is “widespread and normalised”, according to the Children’s Commissioner for England). The impact of misogynist influencers. Misinformation about everything from politics to vaccines. The risky disclosure of personal information. Grooming. Reduced face-to-face interaction. The erosion of self-esteem from seeing others’ idealised social media posts. Fear of missing out making children check social media many times a day, even when it makes them feel bad.

This last is highlighted in a depressing survey of girls from Girlguiding UK this week which found more than a third of girls aged 11 to 21 had seen unwanted sexual images online and a fifth had been stalked online. Even so, fear of missing out had prevented most from coming off sites like TikTok, SnapChat and WhatsApp.

The Online Safety Act should in theory help address some concerns, and there’s been talk of setting 16 as the age for joining social media apps, but with public trust in tech companies being so low, delaying access to smartphones feels to many parents like the best option.

Of course smartphones aren’t all bad. They help kids feel connected to family and friends. They are also a study aid, particularly in households which are otherwise digitally excluded (though the Scottish Government is meant to be providing all schoolchildren with a tablet or laptop by 2026).

But there is no denying the level of public concern about smartphones. A survey of 10,000 parents in the UK, US, Germany, India and Australia this summer found that more than half wished they’d delayed giving their children smartphones for longer (instead of average age 11). A third had cried over their children’s phone use.

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I will have to make this decision soon and would like to hold off until 14, though even 12 would be a start. What I like about the pact is that it isn’t about telling other parents what to do, but making a shared pledge with like-minded people not to cave too early. Many a parenting principle has crumbled in response to a child insisting that “everyone else has one”. Smart watches that allow children to make and receive calls but have no internet access, are a good alternative in the meantime.

But there’s something else parents can do too, I have found myself sheepishly realising.

Look at any bus stop or any doctor’s waiting room, and what do you see? Adults, heads bent, completely intent on their own tiny screen. No wonder children are lined up in silent rows staring at screens: they’re learning it from us.

Modelling more healthy online habits and developing a culture where it’s no longer unusual to get a smartphone until your mid-teens: kids can only benefit from that.

Rebecca McQuillan is a freelance journalist specialising in politics and Scottish affairs. She can be found on X at @BecMcQ