Downing Street must have been looking forward to the Conservatives gathering in Birmingham.

Labour’s conference week was dominated by rows over ministerial freebies, winter fuel payments and claims of Downing Street in-fighting. Birmingham was a chance to remind people what a shower the last lot had been. Memories refreshed, perhaps the public would take it easier on Sir Keir Starmer and what Pat McFadden, his wartime consigliere, acknowledges have been “squalls” over gifts.

Except it did not turn out that way on the Sunday politics shows. The latest uncomfortable moment for the Prime Minister arrived when the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg interviewed Rosie Duffield, the former Labour MP for Canterbury.

Duffield resigned the whip on Saturday, accusing Sir Keir Starmer and his government of pursuing “cruel and unnecessary policies” and engulfing the party in rows over gifts.

Kuenssberg spoke to her on Saturday night, airing the interview the next day. Towards the end, Kuenssberg asked Duffield if the Prime Minister “has a problem with women”. Duffield replied: “I’m afraid I do, yes.”

The now-Independent MP went on: “I have experienced it myself, but most backbenchers I’m friends with are women and most of us refer to the men that surround him, the young men, as ‘the lads’ and it’s very clear that the lads are in charge.

“They have now got their Downing Street passes, they are the same lads who were briefing against me in the papers and other prominent female MPs and I was really hoping for better but it wasn’t to be.”

Duffield is no stranger to disputes with the leadership, notably over women’s rights and transgender issues where she has long been a close ally of JK Rowling. But the ferocity of her criticism, and its timing, so early in the government’s first term, mean more bad headlines for Starmer when he might have expected the row over gifts to start dying down.

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It fell to Pat McFadden to defend the government, as it usually does. The Scot’s official title is Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, but he is becoming increasingly reminiscent of Ford Kiernan’s “The Janny” character in Chewin’ the Fat, the one who thinks he can solve anything with a sprinkle of sawdust from his bucket.

McFadden did not quite tell Kuenssberg to give the row ten minutes and everything would be as right as rain. Instead, he played down the notion that Duffield’s views were widespread in the party, saying her estrangement from the leadership was well-known. “I don’t think this is something that just developed in the last few months.”

As for Duffield’s claim that ‘the lads’ were in charge of Downing Street, McFadden joked that he was too old to be considered a lad.

He ended with news of a change in policy. From now on, ministers as well as shadow ministers would have to disclose donations in full. It was this “Tory loophole”, according to Labour, that had caused the damaging stories to emerge. (An easier way to avoid a row, of course, would have been not to accept the gifts in the first place.) Labour will have no shortage of MPs willing to speak out against Duffield. Some might even be surprised to find she still had the whip to resign.

However, there is something more to this row than a Saturday resignation for the Sunday papers. Kuenssberg asking if the Prime Minister has a problem with women speaks to a growing tension between Downing Street and sections of the media over Starmer’s governing style. In particular, his refusal to apologise for his actions or concede he has done anything wrong.

Beth Rigby’s interview last week with the Prime Minister offers a case in point. Sky News’s political editor revealed all in the latest episode of the podcast Electoral Dysfunction. Appearing with Rigby were fellow regulars Ruth Davidson, former leader of the Scottish Conservatives, and Labour grandee Baroness Harriet Harman.

The trio were in Glasgow last week for a special live show, where their guest was Kirsty Wark.

Rigby had just come back from New York where she was part of the press pack accompanying Keir Starmer to his first speech at the UN General Assembly.

In her sit-down with the Prime Minister, Rigby had asked about the Starmers staying in the Covent Garden penthouse flat of Lord Alli, a donation worth £20,000 according to the register. Starmer said it was to ensure his son could study in peace for his GCSEs and not have to pass reporters at the family home.

The Starmers have insisted that their two children remain anonymous and are kept out of coverage.

Rigby said it was the Prime Minister who brought up his son and she did not want to discuss his family.

“He kept saying ‘There are human reasons behind that [moving into Lord Alli’s flat]. I wasn’t trying to argue that with him. What I wanted was to talk to him about the bigger point.”

The atmosphere grew chillier from there. Rigby said some people might think this was “continuity Johnson”, a Prime Minister taking freebies from rich friends.

“He looked absolutely furious with me,” Rigby told her fellow podcasters. “It was really uncomfortable. “ Rigby said if the shoe had been on the other foot and it was a Conservative Prime Minister, Starmer would have expected that person to answer questions.

She is right. Starmer never pulled his punches when facing Boris Johnson or his successors at PMQs. The Prime Minister is not the first politician to find it is easier to ask questions than answer them.

At some point, the Tory leadership race will be over and Sir Keir will face a new opponent at PMQs. He is not going to get an easy ride from them, and nor should he expect one.

Having been the leader of the opposition he should know more than anyone that criticism goes with the job of Prime Minister. But the approach he has taken so far is not doing him any favours. His very defensiveness is starting to offend.