In our street it is a Friday. Round the corner it is a Saturday. It has even been known to take place on Sundays at Christmas and New Year. Fancy.
We are talking bin day, an event not to be missed. Putting the right colour bins out on the right day is the closest the country comes to an official religion. Thou shalt not transgress or dreadful consequences could ensue.
Time was when uncollected milk was a sign that something was amiss. Now the red flag is raised if no bins appear. Are the folk on holiday? Ill? Who would miss the chance to have their smelly waste taken away asap?
Rubbish provokes that kind of gut reaction. Hence the growing alarm at the prospect of a bin strike across Scotland from 14 August. Unison, Unite and GMB unions say the eight-day action in 26 of the 32 council areas will mean bins are not emptied “from the smallest villages to the biggest cities”.
Edinburgh will be hit during the festival, and Glasgow similarly affected (although weary Glaswegians might struggle to notice a difference).
Talks took place on Tuesday between Cosla, unions and Scottish Finance Secretary Shona Robison, but no agreement was reached.
TV news crews duly took to the streets to vox pop the citizenry. Some people agreed with the bin workers that it was a tough job and they should be paid more to do it, others feared the mess. Regardless of their views, all wore the same green around the gills look. Memories of the 2022 strike were still fresh.
People have a deep and abiding aversion to rubbish taking over, and understandably so. For a start, there are the obvious health dangers. From the earliest days of humans living together, littering on one’s own doorstep (earthier sayings are available) has been accepted as a bad idea.
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It is more than that, however. Rubbish on the streets carries a whiff of civilisation breaking down, disorder, anarchy. Think of the images that crop up every time the Winter of Discontent is mentioned. Anyone around in 1970s Britain will have their own memories to call on.
I remember the mountains of rubbish in the back courts. Children jumping from walls onto the big soft cushion of black bags below. Bolder, older types clutched sticks with nails in the end, waiting for the rats to come out and “Thwack!” Somebody said you could get money for the dead ones, like empty ginger bottles. Aye, the weans in Surrey would have been well jealous if they had known the larks to be had in Glasgow.
Similar scenes made it into the popular culture, as in Lynne Ramsay’s 1999 film, Ratcatcher. In the 2022 bin strike social media was the way to go, with videos of rats scooting from bin to bin becoming viral hits. Newspapers around the world ran photos of the rubbish in Edinburgh.
It is not just Scotland that has reason to fear a bin strike. New York is home to three million rats. The infestation became so bad last year the city authorities hired a “rat tsar”. Next month, mayor Eric Adams will host the National Urban Rats Summit to bring together the latest research.
"The best way to defeat our enemy is to know our enemy,” said the mayor.
As animal rights groups have pointed out, at the core of the problem are 14 billion tons of rubbish the city generates every year. That’s a lot of free dinners for rats.
Not even Glasgow, or Edinburgh during the festivals, can match that. Even so, if 2024 is anything like 2022, we are all in for a smelly time should a strike go ahead. If you have any face masks left over from the pandemic, now might be a good time to dig them out.
Politics is adding its own layer of funkiness to proceedings. Cosla says its offer of a 3.2% pay rise was at the “absolute limit of affordability”. But the unions want the same deal for Scottish workers that has been offered in England - 5.2%. It now falls to the Scottish Government to come up with extra cash to improve Cosla’s offer, as happened in 2022.
But the political landscape has changed radically since then. Labour is in power at Westminster. Rachel Reeves, the new Chancellor, has agreed a 5.5 per cent pay rise for millions of public sector workers, plus 22% for junior doctors.
To help pay for these increases, and to plug what Ms Reeves says is a £22 billion, Tory-generated black hole in the public finances, winter fuel payments will only go to pensioners on benefits. An estimated 10 million will lose out on the cash, which can be up to £300 a year.
The Scottish Government, which takes over responsibility for fuel payments this winter, is under pressure not to follow England’s example. But doing so will mean taking money from elsewhere. Likewise, boosting the offer to bin workers. Where is the money coming from for that?
To the battle between Cosla and the bin workers add further skirmishes between London and Edinburgh. Labour’s generosity in England could be just as much of a headache to the Scottish Government as Conservative austerity.
The Scottish Conservatives are among those urging ministers to intervene and head off the bin strikes. Lothian MSP Miles Briggs said: “We simply cannot allow rubbish to pile high in the streets of Scotland again. This strike action is set to take place in the middle of the Edinburgh festivals, at a time the capital is welcoming the world to our beautiful city.”
Cosla resources spokesperson Katie Hagmann insisted local government leaders will “explore all options to avoid industrial action”.
The unions are ready for a fight if it comes to it. Graham McNab, industrial officer with Unite said: “There is a window of opportunity to resolve this dispute but the politicians should be under no illusions that our members will take strike action if necessary to secure the pay offer they deserve.”
Scottish Finance Secretary Shona Robison said her officials will now “work at pace with local government officers to understand what an improved negotiating envelope may look like”.
Whatever a negotiating envelope looks like, we all know what a bin strike looks like, and smells like, and it is not pretty.
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