Where do shameless Sturgeon and flagrant Ross get their brass necks?

Indeed, I’ll even let the prospective intervewees, Nicola Sturgeon and Douglas Ross, have the question in advance. Namely: Where do you get the brass neck? That dazzling, copper-bottomed ability to brazen something out, carry on as though everything is fine and normal, when anyone else would be whimpering under the duvet?

There must be special shops, some kind of Mr Benn arrangement, whereby a person walks in with standard levels of humility and leaves shameless. I believe there is a branch in Westminster, and one has opened in Edinburgh recently, doing a nice line in iPad-related matters. While neither quite holds a candle to the original flagship store in Mar-a-Lago, it is early days yet.

I would like to believe Scotland’s former First Minister thought long and hard before accepting a guest spot on ITV’s election night show. Ms Sturgeon will be in the studio in London alongside fellow pundits George Osborne and Ed Balls, ex-chancellor and ex-shadow chancellor respectively, or the architect of austerity and the big lad off Strictly if you prefer. Nic, George and Ed. As Mrs Thatcher said, it is a funny old world right enough.

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It is a smart move by ITV and should pull in the viewers. For Ms Sturgeon, however, it is not without risk. All those hours of small talk and forced jocularity with George and Ed before the results start to come in. Having to explain SNP losses without mentioning your own part in them. Tricky.

There was no mention in ITV’s press release about a guest fee, but one assumes Osborne and Balls are not doing it for the free tea and unlimited access to the box of Celebrations. One newspaper noted that Ruth Davidson, former-leader of the Scottish Conservatives, earned £7,500 for a similar appearance in 2019. According to the Bank of England’s inflation calculator, that would amount to £9,284 today.

Appearing on Election 2024 Live: The Results takes Ms Sturgeon further down the path of writing and broadcasting. She signalled this would be her next career move by choosing ITV’s Loose Women for her first post-resignation appearance, and followed this with book reviews for the New Statesman. A first draft of her as yet unnamed memoir, out next year, has been submitted to her publishers Pan Macmillan. North of 250,000 words, apparently.

But hang on a mo. This is the same Ms Sturgeon who was arrested, questioned, and released without charge as part of a police inquiry into SNP finances. To be precise, she was released without charge pending further investigation. The same applies to former SNP treasurer Colin Beattie.

Peter Murrell, Ms Sturgeon’s husband and the former SNP chief executive, has been charged with embezzlement. At the end of last month Police Scotland issued a statement saying a report had been sent to the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service. The statement added: "Investigations continue and we are unable to comment further."

So the police, like everyone else, cannot comment on what is an ongoing investigation. Yet Ms Sturgeon can go on live television where she might face questions on the matter?

As a solicitor she knows well enough not to say anything, but that is not the only point to consider here. What if the police wanted to get in touch with her on July 4-5? Should they call the ITV offices? Can a telephone be placed on the studio desk, as in the old Cliff Michelmore days?

You do not have to be Mystic Rees-Mogg to know where Douglas Ross will be on election night: somewhere in Aberdeenshire North and Moray East. The Tory leader parachuted into the constituency last week, much to the dismay of the incumbent, David Duguid, who is being treated for a spinal illness but was planning to fight the seat.

It was a woefully misjudged move by Mr Ross when he announced it last Thursday, not least because it would have meant doing four jobs - he is also a football referee - across two parliaments. Not even Doctor Who could manage that workload.

On Monday, declaring the situation “not feasible”, Mr Ross resigned as party leader, and said he would step down as an MSP if he wins the Commons seat. Brass neck or what? When interviewed on Good Morning Scotland he denied this was “a little job insurance scheme” he had going.

Ruth Davidson, former leader of the Scottish Conservatives, earned £7,500 in 2019 for a similar appearance to Nicola Sturgeon (Image: free)

What happened between last Thursday and Monday morning to change his mind is unknown. Whatever happens he will now have more time to spend answering questions about his travel expenses as an MP.

To give him his due, Mr Ross has apologised for upending his own party’s campaign by quitting mid-race - a feat unmatched in political history. That, at least, is something.

After a day in Edinburgh being followed around by the media and a bin lorry (I see Armando Iannucci, after that sterling work in Downing Street, is still directing the Conservative campaign), Mr Ross headed for the BBC Debate Night: Leaders’ Special.

Once again, as with Ms Sturgeon, you have to admire the sheer determination to keep on trucking. And why not? It is not the modern way to step back, take a lower profile, at difficult times. Get out there, a PR might say, behave like it is business as usual and one day it will be.

I’m not sure about that. In this election there are the campaigns and the media coverage, and some distance away are the voters. They are different from those who have gone before, not as forgiving of behaviour they do not like. We saw it in the Covid inquiries and in the Post Office and infected blood hearings. Brass necks are out, humility is in. Spread the word.