Dishy Rishi Sunak shows he's a bit of a bounder on his Highland fling

Michael Matheson, the former Health Secretary, might have tried to stiff Scottish taxpayers for the roaming charges on his I-pad and then lied about it to the press, the public and his fellow MSPs. But, look, he’s a decent chiel otherwise and – more importantly – a good friend of Mr Swinney. So let’s be having none of your suspensions, said the First Minister.

A few days earlier, he had dispensed with the services of Kevin Pringle, generally regarded across the political divides as Holyrood’s best communications adviser. This is what happens when the only grown-up leaves the room; the place starts to fall apart.

Rishi Sunak does his best Gene Kelly impression (Image: free)

Perhaps the First Minister’s catastrophic error of judgment accounted for the added spring in Mr Sunak’s step as he visited the Port of Nigg, the sprawling, 238-acre port facility in the Cromarty Firth which is home to the Global Energy group. Alex Salmond had once predicted that Scotland could become the Saudi Arabia of renewables. That would make the Port of Nigg its heartland, the place where the fabrication and assembly of the world’s first tidal and wave power generation demonstrator devices occurred.

This yard literally makes waves across the world and Scotland is justly proud of it. Here is where the wizened and gnarly oil and gas sectors meet sexy renewables in a multi-user facility that supplies customers in the international energy industry. Last year it was awarded green Freeport status by the Scottish and UK Governments, hence perhaps why an embattled UK Prime Minister made the 600-mile journey north on the first day of his re-election campaign.

Mr Sunak likes to bound. He bounds into rooms and bounds onto podiums. He is one of life’s natural bounders. On Thursday evening, he fairly bounded up the stairs to meet the waiting reception committee comprising a wheen of panjandrums from Highlands & Islands Council and some bosses of partner Japanese businesses in this facility. We, the members of HM Scottish press waited in an adjoining room nursing our cynicism and polishing our permitted questions (strictly one per scribe).

Mr Sunak was late, though. The ladies and gentleman of the press are accustomed to that, of course, being regarded by politicians as bottom feeders in the civic food chain. But I was worried about the waiting worthies next door. There they all were lined up against the wall like the domestic staff in Downton Abbey waiting for leave to finish their shifts. We Brits might be accustomed to waiting, but what about the Japanese?

I began to experience anxiety about future Japanese investments if our Prime Minister kept them waiting much longer. The Prime Minister’s arrival is heralded by half a dozen Rikki Fulton motorcycle cops and the large chaps with the telephone wires attached to their ears.

A young security guard pops out from his Portakabin for a closer look: “I want to take a picture for my mum,” he says and the Secret Service man – momentarily rigid – relaxes once more.

Rishi Sunak talks to workers at the Port of Nigg (Image: free)

No-one's quite sure why Mr Sunak is here. The attraction of sticking a flag on the Koh-i-Noor of Scotland’s energy abundance is obvious. But the Prime Minister has already been to Wales and the English Midlands today. He could have come here any time and this constituency isn’t exactly a target seat. What was the hurry?

Was it simply to put as much distance as possible between him and the Westminster hyenas after his campaign launch Gene Kelly act? Or was it the attraction of wearing a hard hat and high-viz jacket, the livery of choice for modern politicians as they channel their inner Village People Action Man vibe?

These press briefings, or huddles as we like to call them all, follow a strict, almost circadian rhythm. When the political lobby journalists are out on manoeuvres they quickly commandeer the facility and set about establishing base camp before inspecting the quality of purvey. The broadcast brethren are given leave to film the walkabout. Then, and only then, can today’s evisceration take place.

At any other time we might have been roused to mild enthusiasm for the visit of the UK Prime Minister, but not today. The action had all unfolded at Holyrood. We’re all still wondering how John Swinney could have contrived to make his party’s election launch worse than Rishi Sunak’s.

And there’s something else. This might be Scotland’s green energy and renewables Xanadu but the man from The Guardian and I calculate that a quantum of fuel stretching to a significant four figures have been used in the transportation of two dozen journos, broadcasters and snappers up here.

Roy McGregor, the man who made the Glabal Energy Group, is here to greet the Prime Minister and Douglas Ross, leader of the Scottish Tories. He looks slightly nervous, but not you suspect at the prospect of welcoming them to his pride and joy. Mr McGregor also owns Ross County who are currently kicking off in Kirkcaldy against Raith Rovers to preserve their status in the Scottish Premiership.

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Almost 11 years ago, at the height of the referendum on independence, Alex Salmond had come to the Port of Nigg to make one of the defining speeches of that campaign. He talked about the ‘Five Unions’ with the rest of the UK that would remain intact even if Scotland regained her independence: the European Union; the NATO defence Union; British sterling; the monarchy and something he described as “the social union” between Scots and people in the rest of the UK. This, he said, was based on a shared culture, shared values and deep-rooted family connections.

Not long prior to this, then Prime Minister, David Cameron had acknowledged that there was no reason why Scotland couldn’t thrive as an independent country. He simply felt it was stronger within the union.

As we gathered around the boardroom table to quiz Mr Sunak and Mr Ross there was a temptation to focus on the previous day’s Downing Street mudlarks but this would have been performative. When the Westminster political lobby gathers to interrogate a Prime Minister you occasionally form the impression they’re auditioning for a bit part in Notting Hill 2.

There had also been talk of a plot by unhappy Tory MPs to commit regicide upon him and draw back from his sudden decision to call a summer election, but what was he going to answer to that. Instead, he was asked about the reasoning and whether or not it showed a lack of respect to Scotland to hold it in the midst of our school summer holidays.

It was pointed out to him that the Port of Nigg lies in the Caithness, Sutherland and Easter Ross constituency which currently lacks, ahem … and actual Tory candidate. Dominic Cumming once described Rishi Sunak as being possessed of the largest brain in government and he was nimble on his feet here too. He was less so though, when asked about Scottish independence. Having toured this incredible facility and seen for himself its capabilities, did he not agree with David Cameron’s assertion that Scotland was well capable of going it alone.

Rishi Sunak arrives in Inverness - sans jacket (Image: free)

“The Freeport that we’re in is a good example of that constructive collaboration [between the Scottish and UK governments]. Freeports attracting jobs and investment to Scotland, which will make a real difference to people.” So that’ll be a yes then.

You form the clear impression that that Mr Sunak knows he’s reached the end days of his tenure as Prime Minister and that he’s relieved it’s almost over. John Swinney may have inherited a faltering dream of independence from Humza Yousaf and Nicola Sturgeon but Mr Sunak has been left to deal with more ordure than the chief scooper at Thames Water Authority.

Afterwards, I approach the Japanese businessmen and ask them about their audience with Mr Sunak. I’m still worried they might have taken a dim view of his tardiness. It seemed to have gone well though, and they departed amidst smiles and handshakes.

“Has anyone approached you about investment opportunities in Glasgow,” I heard myself say.