Is Nicola Sturgeon swearing really a big f*****g deal?

It seems the big news of the day from the Covid inquiry is that Nicola Sturgeon thinks that Boris Johnson is, in her words, a “f*****g clown”.

Yes, it’s funny – but are we really surprised? It’s clear that Ms Sturgeon and Mr Johnson didn’t exactly see eye to eye on much, if anything at all, and there are plenty of people who have probably used those exact words to describe the former Prime Minister – and, indeed, the former First Minister.

If anything what ‘Clowngate’ underlines is a politics which favours civility over straight-talking, where our elected representatives are either incapable of speaking like normal people, or actively discouraged from doing so.

Ms Sturgeon hails from Dreghorn in North Ayrshire and represents the Glasgow Southside constituency. In both locales not only would the general populace have no qualms about describing Mr Johnson as a ‘f*****g clown’, they’d almost certainly use much more robust language.

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Witness also the clutching of pearls when Ms Sturgeon’s successor, Humza Yousaf, said that the response to people from different ethnic, gender, or religious background being told they don’t belong should be “f*** you”.

While this was applauded in many quarters it was derided as being unfitting of the office by others, with even the First Minister couching the phrase as “not First Ministerial language”.

However, the point Mr Yousaf was making was one about genuine intolerance – be it based on race, religion or other things – which surely even the most puritanical among us can admit is more odious than simply telling someone to eff off.

Humza Yousaf came under criticism when saying that intolerance should be met with 'f**k you' (Image: Herald Design)
You need only look at some of the more ‘sensible centrist’ commentators – some of whom even have names which could be rhyming slang – and the things which seem to irk them most around issues like Brexit, the Conservative government and immigration.

Mr Johnson was upbraided for lying to the Queen, Jacob Rees-Mogg for lounging on the benches, rather than their policies.

Non-violent protests against George Osborne – glitter on his wedding day – or Nigel Farage – milkshake bath – were greeted with plaintive cries and wagging fingers, never mind the austerity policies or the far-right leanings.

It would be tempting to view this as entirely a class issue. Alan Brown, the MP for Kilmarnock & Loudoun, is believed to be the first MP ever to have to ‘translate’ his own speeches for the Hansard register due to his thick accent. Though, to be fair, I grew up in Kilmarnock and would sometimes like a translator for my own voice when transcribing interviews.

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However, it’s not even entirely about class – it’s about ‘civility’, ‘decency’ or ‘carrying yourself in a certain way’.

There are people who will tell you with a straight face that Boris Johnson should be forever shunned from public life for lying on the side of a bus, but that Tony Blair is well worth listening to despite launching a war on false pretexts which led to the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, hundreds of British soldiers and destabilised the entire region for the next two decades.

The same holds true across the pond when it comes to Donald Trump.

The things he says and believes are repugnant, but it seems what many really take issue with is his tone.

Just witness the rush to anoint Ron DeSantis as the natural heir to the MAGA throne – the Florida governor believes all the same things as Mr Trump but isn’t quite as brash and attended Yale and Harvard.

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The riposte to this would probably be that swearing belies a lack of intelligence, a limitation in vocabulary.

This is, of course, nonsense. One need only watch a single episode of The Thick of It to appreciate how, written by Armando Ianucci and delivered by Peter Capaldi’s foul-mouthed spin doctor, it can be an artform – “you’re not a grandee, you’re a f*****g bland-ee”.

David Brent’s moment of redemption in the final episode of The Office has more weight precisely because he tells bullying, obnoxious Chris Finch to “f*** off”, rather than trying to remain in his good graces by censoring himself.

Nicola Sturgeon may well have much to apologise for regarding the Covid inquiry – and some of it may well be related to WhatsApp – but calling Mr Johnson what she did is not on the list.