Home Secretary James Cleverly's date rape drug jokes are shocking

Imagine being one of the survivors who had confided in the government, told them of the trauma and violation spiking causes, to then hear these words. These comments were made because the Home Secretary felt safe enough to joke like this without fear of repercussions. The jokes got out, outrage ensued and… Nothing came of it.

The Prime Minister, “considers the matter closed”, and Mr Cleverly described his “frustration” that the comments had been made public, and that, “the conversation has been deflected by words that I said”.

Of course, as we know from past experience there most likely will never be any consequences, powerful men are rarely held to account for their words but these comments did not occur in a vacuum, jokes never do.

As part of a study on the impact of sexist humour on attitudes towards violence against women, researchers at Kent University discussed 'prejudiced norm theory', and stated, “By switching to a non-serious mindset, the recipient of the joke essentially accepts the local norm implied by the joke. As such, when exposed to prejudiced jokes people may begin to accept the norm of prejudice implied by the joke. This may result in greater personal tolerance of discrimination”.

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We are told by those making and enjoying them that sexist and violent comments are harmless, however studies such as that done at Kent University highlight that they form part of a culture of misogyny, a spectrum of violence against women, the thin end of the wedge from which many men excuse their participation in patriarchy.

We've all been there, someone will make an inappropriate joke that goes a bit too far, perhaps it's sexist, or racist, homophobic or just plain rude and disrespectful. There's a voice in your head telling you not to rock the boat, not to make a scene, not to make things weird or awkward, and you listen, you stay silent, you laugh it off, and the bigotry goes unchallenged.

It's important to understand that in challenging comments that contribute to harmful attitudes and rhetoric that you aren't creating discomfort, you are voicing it.

Perpetrators of spiking often use the defence that “it was just a joke”, just a bit of fun to slip something in someone's drink and see how funny it is to alter their mental state or to make them “loosen up”.

Spiking is a violation of the body and mind, it can cause irreparable damage to the mental and physical health of those who are spiked. It can lead to sexual assault and rape, but it doesn't often lead to a conviction or to justice.

How are we supposed to trust that this government gives one iota of concern to violence against women when there are no consequences for these kinds of comments?

Home Secretary James Cleverly (Image: FREE)

Women are given a lot of advice on how to keep ourselves safe, ensuring responsibility starts and ends with the victim. There are a whole host of products designed to minimise the risk and mitigate the damage of spiking. You can buy scrunchies that convert into covers for your drink, coasters that double as drug testers and even nail polish that, if dipped into a spiked drink will change colour.

Awareness of spiking is at an all time high, there genuinely is no excuse for the people we elect to the highest possible office to keep us safe and who victims are supposed to trust to advocate for their best interests to make vulgar and disgusting jokes the second they believe themselves to be off camera.

Mr Cleverly has in the past referred to fighting violence against women and girls as a “personal priority”. However, despite speaking with survivors of spiking, despite working to create legislation to improve the outcomes of those affected by spiking, he found it appropriate to make these jokes when he believed the cameras were off and the country wasn't listening. This represents a clear discrepancy between the public and private persona of politics, between who politicians want to appear as when appealing to voters, and who they are when that pressure is lifted.

These are the people in whom women are supposed to place their trust, to serve their interests and ensure legislation improves their outcomes and experiences, and we deserve better.

The main defence I've seen since the comments were released is that his jokes were so far outwith the realm of possibility that nobody could reasonably take them seriously.

Unfortunately, the long-term drugging of wives by their husbands isn't something that we have to look very hard to find examples of. Over the course of 10 years, a man known as Dominique P was discovered in 2020 to have been drugging his wife with lorezepam and letting men rape and sexually assault her while she was unconscious.

A total of 51 men have been charged with rape in connection to the case, although the number of men involved is thought to be much higher.

Due to the long-term consistent drugging by her husband, the woman suffered flashbacks, fatigue and four sexually transmitted diseases. She was only made aware of the attacks when tapes of the assaults were shown to her by police.

This is sadly not an isolated incident. A man aged 42 in Singapore has received a sentence of 29 years for drugging his wife repeatedly with sedatives and letting five men rape her while unconscious. The spiking and assault happened over a period of eight years.

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There's also a husband from west London who gave his wife Rohypnol and when questioned said it was to “save his marriage”.

Suddenly, the Home Secretary's comments don't come off quite so cleverly.

I've no doubt the Home Secretary doesn't actually drug his wife, but it is in the creation of these hypothetical situations, in which hypothetical women receive hypothetical violence, that these jokes foster very real harmful attitudes.

No thought is given to women who've actually experienced spiking or sexual assault, because in reality these things are not funny, they're harrowing, traumatic situations which cause unbelievable damage.

Men who make jokes about violence against women don't have to consider the implications of their words because the laugh is where their concerns start and end, no matter who they have to trample over or punch down to get.

They have no comprehension of the way their comments might, intentionally or not, impact the way their audience perceives violence against women, and what their words risk normalising, condoning, or minimising.