Manners must bring a stop to filming strangers for TikTok

It doesn’t matter. The public believes Warhol said it, and that is a form of truth, which is enough. It’s also appropriate for where we are today. 

This week a video went viral on social media. In the footage, set against the backdrop of New York’s Times Square, a young man is attempting to grab the attention of young women to ask for a high five. 

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After one failed attempt he taps a youngish looking girl on the shoulder. She starts, glances at him startled and shuffles into the security of a circle of friends. 

Another young woman with her is approached for a high five and half-heartedly obliges before turning her attention back to her companion. 

At this point, as is the climax of so many of these videos, the guy breaks into a dance routine. The girl is seen later in the footage rubbing at her arm with sanitiser. Not immediately; she waits a few moments until the dancer’s attention is elsewhere. But she’s crying. 

The footage, recorded by 21-year-old TikTok creator and dancer Huon Archer, was posted to several social media platforms. On Twitter, where I first saw it, it came with the caption “why is she crying tho?”

No one, bar the girl herself, and her confidantes, knows why she is crying though. Doesn’t stop the public from having an opinion online. In a cruel Gogglebox for the masses, people had opinions. Lots of them, few of them kind.

One assumption was that this was a young woman being bothered or intimidated or harassed by a young man - sexual politics came in to play.

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The young man is black and the person left in tears by the exchange is white - racial politics came in to play. 

Why was this man harassing these women? Why was this white person sanitising their skin after being touched by a black person? 

The video has been viewed tens of millions of times. It is hugely useful for an influencer if their video goes viral - though only if enough people are in your camp.

The maxim of “all publicity is good publicity” is weaker than it once was but if a wide reach is your aim, controversy can only help, especially if the situation has enough ambiguity - no clear hero or villain - to keep people debating.  

What of the unwitting victim though? Imagine going out with your friends, having an interaction you neither expected nor asked for, and waking up the next morning being analysed, criticised and reviled by millions of people.

The issue is, this could happen to any of us, and there’s little way of clawing back the narrative in your favour without putting yourself out there for even more unwanted publicity.

The sister of the young person in the video has subsequently recorded a rebuttal, explaining their position. This upset person, who was dubbed everything from a spoilsport to a racist, has autism and a obsessive compulsive disorder, which means they don’t like to be touched. 

TikTok (Image: free)

That explains the interaction - but why must we need an explanation? Must we accept that being in a public space is tacit consent to becoming the unwitting foil for a social media influencer’s content? 

These are the sorts of conversations we used to have about celebrities: how much exposure is too much? When are famous people entitled to privacy? Are they public property and expected to be amenable at all times?

Celebrities, at least, opt for careers that they know will place them in the public eye, with all the complications that causes. Even with riches, choice and a support network, fame can be gruelling and gruesome. These are not the sorts of considerations we used to have to have while popping out for milk.

These types of TikTok videos, though, rely on public engagement. There are multiple viral trends that involve stopping strangers in the street or trying to interact with passers by. There’s an assumption that anyone would be happy to engage. We all want our 15 minutes, right? And it’s just a bit of fun.

As a reporter who’s done her fair share of vox pops, I can say confidently not everyone is happy to engage. Vox pops - where the journalist ventures out to question the public on a hot topic - are a challenge.

Stopping random folk as they go about their business is not easy; charming them into giving you a quote and posing for a photo is harder still. 

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Journalists are bound by certain conventions and so no, in this context, means no. 

Generally, though, there are no restrictions on recording people in a public space. This isn’t always understood. Over the years I’ve had countless people get in touch to complain their image has appeared in print when they didn’t give permission. 

There are times when filming is a necessary, empowering tool - at its extreme, during times of civil unrest or the recording of police brutality, say.

Simple news gathering involves being able to record in public places. Introducing restrictions on filming in public would be an undesirable move and extremely difficult to manage.

Social media content creators don’t have to ask for consent from their subjects before publishing but they similarly can’t expect everyone to be a good sport.

There needs to be scope to be having a bad day - or simply to not want to get involved - without risking public humiliation.  

For women, in particular, being approached, followed, touched and questioned is a routine occurrence, ranging from tiresome to malevolent.

In what is the modern version of “smile, love”, it’s now happening under the guise of insipid internet fun. It must be acceptable to say no to this without having to provide an explanation. 

What we’re left with is the necessity of self-policing - both from creators and consumers. What we need is some good old-fashioned manners. Did Archer have to post a video of himself causing another’s tears? Of course not.

Did tens of thousands of adults have to speculate on the motivations of a complete stranger? Absolutely not. 

In the virtual town square, a plea for empathy and decent conduct seems vanishingly naive, but always be mindful - for the next 15 minutes, it’s just as likely to be you.