I FEEL moved this week to confer the kiss of death of Neil Gray by riding to his defence over the entirely contrived Donsgate scandal. It’s not often I get the opportunity to defend a sitting SNP minister so, as the opportunity has now arisen, I’m seizing it with both hands. 

As surely everyone knows by now, our Health Minister has been criticised for attending some football matches involving his favourite team, Aberdeen FC, and the Scottish international team at Hampden Park. 

On these occasions, Mr Gray was invited by the Scottish Football Association to be their guest. It seems, however, that what has outraged some people is his use of the “official ministerial car”. 

When I say “some people” I really mean a handful of commentators from the scarecrow right and some of those who cling to the bottom rung of Scottish professional politics. Absolutely no-one else gives a monkey’s. 

Indeed, I’m delighted that a real football supporter occupies a place in the Scottish Government. Too often, the top tier of Scottish politics is replete with pretendy fans who rush to social media whenever the Scotland international side wins a football match to wish the lads and the ladies all the best once someone tells them what the cheering is all about.

Mr Gray also covers the sports brief in his ministerial portfolio, so he’s perfectly entitled to use a ministerial motor. Certainly, he might have availed himself of public transport but if he’s as busy as he ought to be as Cabinet Secretary for Health and Social Care then using an official car would give him the opportunity to catch up on work on his way to the games and back. 

The Scottish Greens, of course, wanted him to use public transport, but there’s a problem with this. One: he might end up encountering a load of Greens which could play havoc with his mental health. And two: any cost to the public purse incurred by the fuel bill for Mr Gray’s trips is but a droplet compared with the disastrous impact on the public finances caused by the Green wastrels in government. 

Gray matter
Sadly, Mr Gray was forced to issue an apology for attending these games in an official capacity when there was absolutely none required. I can guarantee that this will not cost him a single vote at the Scottish election in 2026. 

Indeed, his apology is the most scandalous aspect about the whole episode. The minister said that he should have attended “a wider range of games” and that he shouldn’t have created the impression that he was acting “more as a fan and less as a minister”. 

Minister, with all due respect, this is total bo***cks. 

I want you there as a fan and not as a minister. At least then I know that your ticket has been used by someone with an emotional investment in the proceedings rather than footless politicos who would prefer to be attending the opening of a cultural event celebrating the historic links between Ukrainian peasants in the 16th century and itinerant Scottish troubadours in Eastern Europe. 

Are we now going to start inspecting the attendance of politicians who are invited to artistic events in their official capacity? “I really ought to have attended orchestral works by a wider range of geniuses than Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and I regret creating the impression that I was acting more as a fan of Mr Mozart and less as a minister. 

“There was a wee Shostakovich concert featuring his legendary No. 2 concerto I could easily have gone to or that Carl Orff’s Old Spice symphony.”

Old Firm
I MIGHT also add here that few questions are asked when it’s matches involving Celtic or Rangers that the political classes attend. I was reminded of this recently by the Labour MSP Paul Sweeney when we were discussing some of Glasgow’s more eccentric planning decisions. 

Let’s just say that it pays not to look too closely at the hospitality boxes at Parkhead, Ibrox, or Hampden.

In 2003, when Celtic reached the Uefa Cup final in Seville, I was told by one Glasgow City Council official that the absentee rate that week in the City Chambers was of historic proportions.

Another told me that several of Glasgow’s major infrastructure and finance decisions were made in that ancient Spanish city. Something similar occurred when Rangers played Zenit St Petersburg in Manchester in 2008. 

A Don deal
AND what is it with this sudden outbreak of political apologies anyway? If I’d been advising Mr Gray, I’d have told him to issue the following statement. “I’m a lifelong Aberdeen fan and I make no apologies whatsoever for going to see the boys in my official car. Aberdeen have been murderapolis for most of the last three decades and this might not happen again for another generation. 

“I also fancied a couple of modest salvadors on the way to the game and can guarantee that it was only Scottish bevvy that was being consumed in support of our drinks industry. 

“At this time of the year, it’s also important to send out important messages about drinking and driving. And don’t worry, I’ll probably be watching Celtic at Hampden in an official capacity for the next few years anyway.”

Stephen Flynn was also forced to admit that he “got it wrong” just because he was seeking a legitimate route to Holyrood for the 2026 Scottish election.

The SNP had no problem with the dual Westminster/Holyrood mandate until Joanna Cherry sought to challenge Angus Robertson for Edinburgh Central in 2020. 

The SNP group at Holyrood has been hollowed out by a dismal cohort of backwoodsmen who struggle to walk and talk at the same time. Surely, it’s in the country’s best interests to improve the

Holyrood gene pool by having more people like Mr Flynn, no matter what side of the political divide your preferences fall?

Mr Flynn should never have apologised. And besides, there are many much more egregiously wrong decisions for which the SNP should be apologising.