Lennie Pennie: The worrying rise of the so-called ‘tradwives’

In a study published by LGBTQ+ Family: An Interdisciplinary Journal, it was found that when it came to same-sex couples, women in a relationship with each other were more likely to divide household tasks than male couples.

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If you add up the hours of childcare, cleaning, cooking, and a whole host of other tasks that must be completed on a daily basis, and calculate what it would cost to have those tasks performed by a professional, you begin to see the true cost of the unpaid labour that forms the backbone of a household.

Sometimes referred to as the "second shift", working women are often expected to pick up the slack at home after having clocked out. Leaving the household tasks up to one party is one thing, but asking or expecting one party to organise the division or delegation of tasks can also have a negative impact on a household dynamic.

Weaponised incompetence, where someone will intentionally fail to complete a task, intentionally perform it poorly, or act as though they don't understand how to do a chore, is a phenomenon which has provoked a lot of discussion.

Despite the word "weaponised" carrying connotations of intentionality and manipulation, psychotherapist Emily Mendez says: “It can stem from a lack of confidence or self-esteem; they may genuinely believe that they’re unable to perform those actions or tasks.”

Of course, it's important to acknowledge that weaponised incompetence is different to people who are genuinely unable to complete tasks for whatever reason, or truly do not understand how to do something. It's never too late to learn new skills and apply them, or to ease the burden of an overworked partner.

One movement growing in popularity over the past few years are those who identify as ‘tradwives’, or traditional wives. This is a movement based on the belief that men and women have defined and distinct places within a household, and usually involves a strict adherence to more socially conservative gender roles.

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Some also promote a rejection of aspects of modern feminism which seek to reevaluate the gender binary, and actively speak out against abortion, and even a woman's right to vote.

Women are encouraged to be mothers and homemakers while men are expected to be the breadwinners; women are supposed to submit to their husbands and men are supposed to lead the household as protector and provider.

The movement often, but not always, combines a modest, retro aesthetic, conservative political beliefs, and Christian religious values. The problem with the tradwife ideology, or indeed any ideology rooted in nostalgia, is that it very often takes the good parts, that which is desirable and attractive about tradition, and it neglects the societal context of both the nostalgic period, and the current reality.

It would be ahistorical to assert that, prior to the proliferation of modern feminism, women never held jobs or performed labour outwith the domestic sphere. Women have always been part of the workforce, out of necessity, or simply a desire to work.

For the average family now to attempt to emulate one from more than five decades ago is extremely difficult and often only available to families in a position of financial privilege.

Compared to the current day, and rates of pay, in this imagined ideal past one wage might comfortably support a family, and ownership of a house was more than a pipe dream for most families, which is sadly not the case any more.

Those who adhere to the tradwife ideology have often come under fire for either supporting or espousing far-right and anti-feminist views, with critics emphasising that the right for women to stay at home and not to work is in line with feminist principles of choice, and to do so does not contradict feminist ideals.

According to the BBC, only around a quarter of women in heterosexual relationships outearn their partners, and as such, women are much more likely to be the one to stay at home if needed.

The Women in Business Expo found that 39% of employed women feel frustrated that they have had to "sacrifice salary and moving up the career ladder in order to ensure the right work-life balance in raising a family".

It's clear, as a study by University College London states, that this balance is not often achieved as it states that in 93% of households in Britain, women do more of the domestic labour than men, while Lifesearch found that male breadwinners are more than twice as likely not to carry out any domestic labour.

Indeed, due in part to these sacrifices, many of the career paths in sectors traditionally considered "women's work" are overwhelmingly male-dominated in spaces where salaries are the highest.

Two sectors where this is evident are education and hospitality. In Scottish universities, women make up only 22.1% of university professors, and despite women making up 60% of the restaurant work force, only 20% of the head chefs in the UK are female.

Every household and family have a different dynamic, and most of them must contend with employment which diverts time and energy away from the daily upkeep of the living environment. In order to truly be fair, the division of labour within a household should be not always equal, but equitable.

This is to say that when assigning responsibilities and tasks, there are certain mitigating factors that should be taken into account. The ability level of all parties and their existing responsibilities are both important to keep in mind, and it's rarely as simple as just dividing the tasks 50/50.

Just as a paid job represents time, effort and labour, so too do childcare and domestic chores, such as cooking and cleaning. The only difference lies in how society perceives these roles, and the ways in which we ignore the fact that many people are expected to carry out unequal portions of unpaid labour every day.