Daniella Theis: Women and girls are unhappy. Can you blame them?

Fox was being interviewed by presenter Dan Wootton on GB News, during which he said of journalist Ava Evans: “Show me a single self-respecting man that would like to climb into bed with that woman ever – ever – who wasn’t an incel. Who would want to **** that?” Wootton, who laughed throughout the tirade, as well as Fox have since been suspended.

Then, on September 27, news broke that a London teenage girl had been fatally stabbed on her way to school, with the alleged attacker being a 17-year-old boy. The case is ongoing, but both these events are horrible examples of violence against women.

It isn’t just the reminder of our current status quo that haunts me. It is also seeing the ways in which we respond – the comments on social media. The ways in which the wider issues surrounding both incidents continue to be raised but just as much continue to be ignored.

When it comes to how we as an individual are perceived and judged, it is our actions; how we respond to adversity. It is a principle that should also be applied to society. How we as a collective respond to societal challenges. One piece of advice I was given when it comes to not seeing change in my own life, is to look back and see how my goals have shifted (the notion being that as you achieve certain things, these will change).

However, when I apply the method here, it seems there hasn’t been that much change at all. Previous generations of women, my generation, the girls and women of tomorrow

Yes, there has been success. We are closer to equality than we were a century, 50 years, or even 10 years ago. But it has been piecemeal and slow and, in many ways, age-old stereotypes and gender norms remain.

So, when it comes to how women and girls are viewed, what message does our slow response to an age-old issue send to the women of tomorrow?

Two weeks ago, Girlguiding UK released statistics which detailed that the happiness of girls and young women is at the lowest level since 2009, as only 17% aged seven to 21 now feel very happy compared with 40% in 2009. Reasons varied and included negative feelings about body image, social media and problems online, fears about climate change, shrinking aspirations, and more.

Part of it as well, as Girlguiding UK’s chief executive Angela Salt said in The Guardian, has also been that “girls and young women have been let down”.

Girls today are deeply unhappy. And can you blame them? Because part of that unhappiness will stem from the messages girls see about their place in the world everyday. If you were a young girl, how would recent events make you feel?

Going back two weeks, Russell Brand received a standing ovation and performed in front of a sold-out show, despite facing harrowing allegations of sexual assault and rape. People supporting him were quick to shout “innocent until proven guilty.”

Of course, the notion itself is in itself not wrong – it is the basis of the justice system. However, what is wrong is how we never seem to give survivors and those reporting crimes the same gesture. A lot of concern is given to the potential of false rape allegations, despite the numbers telling a different story. Home Office researchers, for example, found that only 4% of cases of sexual violence reported to the UK police are found or suspected to be false.

Regarding the murder of Elianne Andams, it will take further investigation and a trial to truly determine the motives of the attack. But the concern is that for some young boys, violence against women is deemed an acceptable response. It is a physical manifestation of something that many have been worried about in recent months in the aftermath of misogynist social media personalities like Andrew Tate as well as the rise of incel communities online: that violence against women is on the rise, even in younger generations that have been born into a world that should be more educated.

Fox’s comments are a harsh reminder that there are people who still think women only exist when defined by a man. Fox during his rampage said that “strong women” are needed. “That woman has been spoon-fed oppression day after day, starting with the lie of the gender wage gap. (...) We need powerful strong amazing women who make great points for themselves.We don’t need these feminist 4.0. They’re pathetic and embarrassing.”

Not all people in society share Fox’s views, but the sentiment that women that speak up about the ongoing inequalities are weak, is something that I have heard; women are “whiny” or “man hating.”

A piece I previously wrote on why we only seem to really talk about women’s safety seriously when a woman dies (at that time it was Sarah Everard), I received multiple comments pointing out that more men are murdered than women each year.

What I take from these is that there seems to be the notion that it is a competition between what warrants our attention. But I don’t think it should be. All of the above are societal issues that are heartbreaking. None of them should exist.

But why would the existence of either erase the need to talk about the other? Why are we women not allowed to be angry and voice the changes we would like to see? And why would speaking up make us weaker?

Finally, what does the backlash and constant putting down of those speaking up mean when it comes to the messages we send to the girls of tomorrow? That seems to be what we always say when looking at the problem: to sit still, be quiet, endure, and accept.

I once argued that to change things, we need a system that does not treat male violence against women as inevitable. I stand by that. However, what we also need to stop is not letting women speak up about the changes they want to say. Only then, will there be some more hope for the future.