Ooh Eck

SCOTTISH football hero Rose Reilly spoke in the Time for Reflection slot at Holyrood on Tuesday, part of Presiding Officer Alison Johnstone’s efforts to widen the speakers beyond the dreary worthies of old. Voted the world’s best female player in her 1980s heyday in Italy, there’s nothing dreary about Rose. She later met fellow Ayrshire legend Nicola Sturgeon and presented her with a T-shirt. “It’s got Alex Salmond’s face on it,” she said as she pulled it out her bag. It didn’t, thank God. Luckily, a demob happy first minister saw the funny side.

Fishy business

Talking of Mr Salmond, it’s been another wild week in the SNP leadership race. Officially there are three candidates, but is Eck a secret fourth hopeful, Unspun wonders. His ex-business partner and recent Alba candidate Kirk Torrance is advising Ash Regan’s campaign. By sheer coincidence, many of her ideas are also Alba’s. Plus she’d like to move past the Salmond-Sturgeon wars and “get the band back together”. Meanwhile Mr Salmond’s spindoctor from his FM days, Campbell Gunn, is aiding Kate Forbes. Could the wily gambler have two horses in one race? 

The gagger gagged

MISS Regan held her official launch in North Queensferry yesterday, where after blanking most of the press, she belatedly agreed to a ‘huddle’ with reporters. One impudent hack asked about her former staff getting secret pay-offs and signing non-disclosure agreements. “Are you a bully?” he asked. Before she could answer, her media handler suddenly announced that after four minutes that was all she had time for. Fancy that. 

Ode ear, ode ear

UNIVERSAL despair on Wednesday, as social security minister Ben Macpherson ruled himself out of the SNP leadership. Not that anyone thought the  Leith MSP had an earthly, but his absence means Scotland’s wait for a poet-warrior leader goes on. For who could forget Ben’s epic verse “Should Scotland become an Independent Country?” on Youtube. “Now, Devo Max may be attractive / But it won’t be enough / It won’t keep us out of wars we disagree with / Or such other awful stuff.” The population remains on tenterhooks.

Swinney dingy

THE mother of the Scottish Parliament, the redoubtable and ancient Christine Grahame, was in good form in Tuesday’s budget debate. “Will the Deputy First Minister take an intervention?” she asked. John Swinney was most obliging. “I would love to take an intervention from Christine Grahame,” he  replied. “It’s not a love match,” she deadpanned.

E-male

PERHAPS Graeme Lawrence, Labour’s candidate in an Aberdeen City Council byelection this week, would be more suitable. Keen to hear from voters, his leaflets asked folk to email him at handsomegranda@hotmail.co.uk. Voters swiped right and he won. 

Moving story

IT didn’t take long for the Scottish Government to start falling apart after Ms Sturgeon’s resignation. The weekly post-FMQs briefing by her official spokesman was stranded on Thursday after a room double-booking. Special advisers and hacks duly wandered around parly until they chanced on an empty spot. “She’s only just quit and everything’s gone wrong,” tutted one footsore reporter. “It’s like Humza’s in charge already,” sighed another.