A number of news outlets reported earlier this week that the volume of checkout beeps at Morrisons had been lowered as a mark of respect to the Queen. But how much truth was there in this story?

What the beep?

‘‘Beep’. ‘Beep!’. ‘BEEP!!!’ Every beep more painful than the last, each one a cruel reminder of the republican minority among our automated scanning machines. There I was in Tesco having my meal deal scanned, and the checkout was just casually beeping away as if a head of state hadn’t recently passed. “Why do you hate the Queen?” I asked the shop assistant. He didn’t reply, probably because I was drowned out by the sound of those hateful beeps.

What’s so disrespectful about beeping?

The story of Morrisons’ muted beeps originated on social media platform Reddit, with a viral post which read: “Being unable to tell when you have scanned something at the self-service because Morrisons turned off the ‘beep’ noise to pay respects”. It seemed beeps had joined the list of inappropriate sounds during our period of national mourning, along with the Champions League anthem, the Center Parcs booking hotline and dissent. The Royal Family, of course, regularly get their messages from Morrisons. It’s therefore understandable that the familiar sound of beeping checkouts might trigger bittersweet memories when the new King and Queen Consort are in getting their stuffed crust Chicago Town pizzas at the weekend.

What do Morrisons say?

While the story is correct insofar as the volume has been turned down, a spokesperson insisted that this decision was not taken directly out of respect for the Queen. Speaking to The National, they said: “Our checkout beeps are not off. They have just been turned down as our music and tannoy announcements have been switched off in stores”.

Why has music been switched off in stores?

Out of respect for the Queen.

How did so many come to believe this story?

Mainly because they’ve come to believe the numerous bizarre stories that have emerged in recent days. In normal times it might have been taken with a dose of scepticism, but as anyone who’s read a paper, watched a TV or planned a Monday at Center Parcs will tell you, these are not normal times.

What’s going on at Center Parcs?

On Tuesday morning, the holiday company announced that their UK villages would close on Monday as – you guessed it – “a mark of respect”. Guests due to arrive on Monday were advised not to travel, while those already there would be forced to leave. By Tuesday night the backlash had prompted Center Parcs to announce that while the villages will remain closed on Monday, those already on the premises could stay. Someone at the top will have had to sign off on this PR disaster, and this presumably well-paid person will have somehow not foreseen people being unhappy about being kicked out of their holiday home at short notice.

On your bike?

At least holidaymakers can cycle to another destination on Monday, an option which was briefly in the balance after British Cycling advised cyclists not to get on their bikes during the Queen’s funeral. The justification for that since-deleted guidance? “As a mark of respect…”.

Why am I only just reading about this now?

This was meant to be in yesterday’s paper, but I slept in after turning off my alarm out of respect for the Queen.

ADAM MILLER