Bread head
OUR helpful readers continue suggesting employment opportunities for Boris Johnson, now the Tiggerish toff with the tumbleweed hair has vacated Downing Street.
George O’Brady notes that in his farewell speech, BoJo said he was ‘handing over the baton’ to Liz Truss.
Says George: “With that kind of experience, our ex-PM could get a job at the counter of his local bakery, handing over batons of bread to customers. Though he’d also have to hand over pan loaves and well-fired rolls. Which might be too much effort for Boris.”
Lizzy in tizzy
THERE are often splendid bargains to be had on social media, notes reader David Donaldson, who spotted a message from Oxfam Books on his Facebook page.
It offered for sale a thrilling tome titled Management of Fecal Incontinence, which is sure to hit the best-seller list, right next to the new John Grisham.
Says David: “Imagining what it must feel like walking into No. 10 Downing Street at a time like this, I was going to buy and send the book to our new PM.”
Sadly, when our generous reader clicked the link, the advert vanished, meaning the book had just been sold.
“Liz must have beat me to it,” concludes David.
Dumb and dumber
MORE on the rapidly evolving political scene. Enthused Glasgow crime scribe Denise Mina says: “We’re going to have to get to know a whole new cast of idiots, aren’t we?”
Moby dish
WILDLIFE expert Danny Casper says: “Whenever I hear about a whale washing up on a beach, I can’t help wondering how big the rubber gloves were…”
Trumpet too loud
THE Diary is fascinated by the forgotten details of history. We yearn to know what make of car Julius Caesar drove, also who was Cleopatra’s favourite rap star.
Helping with our quest for knowledge, Russell Smith from Largs notes that we recently mentioned Custer’s Last Stand.
Says Russell: “That reminds me of a friend who claimed his great grandfather died there. He was camping nearby and went over to complain about the noise from the Little Bighorn.”
Pupil to pensioner
ENGLISH teacher Alison Curran once asked a less-than-enthusiastic scholar in her class about his plans once he left school.
"Can I retire?” he asked (with slightly more enthusiasm than usual).
Hot… or not?
CONCERNS over heating bills are no laughing matter. Which doesn’t dissuade reader Nigel Dunlop from suggesting how to keep warm this winter.
“Stand in the corner of the room,” he says. “It’s 90 degrees there.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel