WITH Boris Johnson said to be running out of steam, and Keir Starmer accused of being boring, the latest edition of Prime Minister’s Questions might have been called, with all due respect to Norman Mailer, The Knackered and the Dud.

But the PM was looking fresh as a daisy, all clean and pink as if he’d at last jettisoned the disposable Bic razor he’d been using for the last year.

Labour leader Keir Starmer, meanwhile, gave a punchier performance, firing a barrage of knowledgable (him or his speech writer) cultural references, some of which got panned on Twitter: older gentleman down with the kids. Pretty old kids, since some references were to Star Wars. Mind you, it was Love Island that had the lieges wincing.

Back on terra firma (more cod-Latin follows), Sir Keir focused on the economy, asking – to supporting cries of “Explain!” – why Britain faced lower growth than every major economy except international pariah Russia.

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Boris blustered, “We will return to the top of the table”, sounding like these English footer pundits who keep airily predicting thumping victories for their national team before another crashing defeat.

Hubris United star Boris then went all classically esoteric on us, averring of Sir K that he was “guilty of what m’legal friends call ignoratio elenchi”. Oh that. With my degree in Google, I can tell readers he was accusing the Labour man of ignoring his logical refutations, which is testing the word “logical” to its punctum fractionis.

With one foot still in the ancient world, the PM accused Sir Keir of maintaining a “Sphinx-like silence” about the forthcoming rail strikes, and asked if he would denounce them, prompting a reminder from the Speaker, Sir Lindsay Hoyle, that he was supposed to be answering questions not asking them.

Sir Keir in turn accused Boris of backing the strikes because he wanted to “feed off the division”. As for his boasts about the economy, the PM was performing “Jedi mind-tricks on the country”. Educated readers will know this involves using the power of yon Force to implant ideas in people’s heids.

“The problem,” said Master Keir, “is the Force just isn’t with him any more. These aren't the droids you’re looking for. No rules were broken. The economy is booming.” Droids? Economy? Booming? What could it all mean? This: “He [Boris] thinks he is Obi-Wan Kenobi. The truth is he’s Jabba the Hutt.”

Put in unparliamentary language, he was calling the PM an unctuous fat slug who slides greasily across the floor. Well, it’s arguable, I suppose.

Just as we were trying to digest this, the Labour man bunged in another cultural reference, this time to Love Island, which my researchers tell me is a dating show on which people sit about in their pants.

“He” – that would be Boris – “thinks he's on Love Island. The trouble is, Prime Minister, I am reliably informed that contestants who give the public the ick get booted out.” The ick? Public? Booted? Who knows what it all means?

It’s fair to say the Labour leader got a mixed reception on Twitter for these knowing allusions, and was on more solid ground when he read out derogatory comments about Boris made by his own MPs, and taunted the benches opposite: “Who said that? Come on! Hands up! Anybody owning up? Hands! Hands!”

His favourite, he said, was a reference to the PM as “the Conservative Corbyn”, prompting Boris to reply that at least Jeremy of that ilk had been “relatively dynamic by comparison with the Right Honourable Gentleman”.

“Relatively dynamic” brings us nicely to the SNP’s Westminster leader, Ian Blackford, who highlighted First Minister Nicola Sturgeon’s well received (joke) attempt to start a “national conversation” about Scotland’s possible future as an independent country.

A supporting document had outlined how other small countries were outperforming the UK. “The evidence,” concluded Mr B, “is overwhelming: Scotland is being held back by Westminster.” And by its own voters.

Top Englishman Boris said he didn’t doubt “the Right Honourable Gentleman’s talents as a conversationalist” but there were other subjects to talk about right now. Yes, but you could say that about anything.

The SNP man said that, while the people suffered, the PM could “afford to live in his own little world, his own Little Britain.”

Whoa, yet another cultural reference. And while the Scottish people say “yeah but, no but” to independence, let’s bring unhelpful receptionist Carol Beer into the conversation about a referendum. Oh dear: “The Prime Minister says no.”