Going ape
ALEX Cole-Hamilton is a big fan of Edinburgh Zoo, which lies within his seat. Or perhaps obsessed is a better word? The Scottish Liberal Democrat boss has booked the zoo’s 'Budongo Boardroom' for a constituency team away day. Described by the zoo as a “totally unique and inspiring experience not found anywhere else in the UK”, the room features a glass wall looking straight into the chimpanzee enclosure. It “promises to be a talking point with your staff all year round”, says the blurb. Alas, we fear the chimpanzees may never be able to forget it either.
Census Robertson
A TRICKY week for Angus Robertson, who was in Brussels when the £150m Scottish census he’s supposed to be overseeing went horribly awry. Delayed by a month as folk were ignoring it/him, it had to be extended a second time as folk kept ignoring it/him. The SNP constitution secretary’s Belgian bolt mid-fiasco looked a shrewd move. Could Alex Salmond be next? The set of his former Russian-TV show is being auctioned on Monday, but interest is, er, modest. His old desk, complete with a giant signature, started at £50 but is still only at £125 after 10 bids. Perhaps a delay would be in order? If not, fleeing to Flanders seems very popular.
Island strife
TALKING of guddles, pretendy ferry operators CalMac are looking for a new PR agency to put a positive gloss on their flaky fleet. According to the tender document, CalMac’s goal is to be “highly regarded by our customers for our service delivery”. Ahem. More realistically, the new spindoctors must help CalMac manage “media crises” and ”communications within the political area”. There’s also a need to “minimise /neutralise potential negative issues”. But as they say everywhere except at CalMac, it looks like that ship has already sailed.
Bank job
ALSO hiring is the state-owned Scottish National Investment Bank, which is splashing £175,000 on headhunters, partly to find a new CEO. Oddly, the deal includes hiring a Chief Investment Officer. You might think an investment bank started in 2020 might have one already. But no. This is a “new post” for the £2billion outfit. “We have been conducting recruitment in phases following the Bank’s launch in line with its growth profile,” it told us. “To date a talented, experienced and mission aligned team has been recruited and the CIO appointment is part of this planned phased approach.” The bank has so far invested £209m of your money without one!
Totey recall
RAISED eyebrows too at North Lanarkshire Council where the SNP has just ousted Labour. Settling in nicely is Cllr Allan Stubbs, a former “security consultant” who in 2015 was the subject of a complaint to SNP HQ alleging he referred to a female colleague as “a twisted bitch”. He was asked about it in a 2018 defamation case brought by the woman against someone else. “I can’t say either way whether or not I said those words,” he told the judge Lord Uist at the Court of Session. “I can’t recall saying it.” Council leader Jordan Linden is naturally considering putting the hugely impressive Cllr Stubbs in charge of education.
Race track
Finally, some late news from last weekend’s Edinburgh marathon. One MSP’s aide was puffing through Musselburgh when he spotted a woman in the crowd with a sign that may or may not have been a compliment. “You run better than ScotRail,” it said. Well, who doesn’t?
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