SNOOP Dog, Jay-Z, Dr Dre, Nadine Dorries. Forget Straight Outta Compton, we’re talking Straight Outta Da Commons.
For those of you lucky enough to have missed it, I can explain. The Culture Secretary has put out a 41-second TikTok video clip to outline the Government’s online safety bill. Worst of all, she did this by rapping to the rhythm of a hip-hop beat. Yes, really. Wicked!
Initially, having watched it I felt the overwhelming urge to take to a dark room and sob silently while listening to a soothing Leonard Cohen record. Shock can hit you in strange and unexpected ways.
For the relatively sane, any utterances from former I’m a Celebrity contestant Dorries are guaranteed to prove challenging.
Of course, she’s a diabolically poor minister who is clueless about her brief. Her claim Channel 5 was privatised or her use of “downstream” – instead of download – for films online are fresh meat to hungry Twitter users.
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But times move on, and it says something about where we’re at that when a minister of state uses a popular musical medium from Black American ghettos to justify government policy it barely causes a ripple of reaction.
Maybe she’s on to something – perhaps getting down with da kidz does get the message across, even if it is hideous to watch.
And I can’t decide if she’s the unwitting victim of a youthful communications team gone rogue, sniggering in the background as they plot her downfall, urging her to go that little bit further.
I’ve always thought she suffers from a complete lack of self-awareness, which in a way I envy.
But I’m now starting to rethink this. Perhaps I’ve totally misjudged Dorries and her ilk. Such is the surrealistic and sinister turn our politics has taken, could she, in fact, be part of some sort of fantastical conspiracy?
Is she, along with Johnson, Gove, Rees-Mogg, Hancock and Truss, a player in an undercover alternative comedy troupe masquerading as politicians similar to that portrayed by Borat, but without the laughs? A cynical, self-serving collective called, erm, the Conservative Party?
I may be going mad, but so detached from reality has the governance of these islands become that I’m asking myself profound questions. Is it all an act? Surely, they can’t be that weird?
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It’s been said politics is showbiz for ugly people, but this is an outdated idea – after all beauty is in the eye of the beholder, just ask Carrie. In my opinion, politics is being taken over by evil character actors and failed comedians.
I’m not suggesting politics should exist in a humourless world. Not everyone can be blessed with Charles Kennedy’s wit or possess Churchill’s talent for cutting put downs. But those in high office should know the difference between banter and banality.
Self-lampooning shouldn’t give politicians a free pass to absolve them of accusations of pomposity or to disguise their stupidity and ego. The “beyond parody” get-out-clause doesn’t and shouldn’t apply.
It’s been said Dorries was “brave” for ridiculing herself. She’s not brave, she’s just annoying. It’s as if she’s making a virtue of her incompetence and anyone who criticises her is a killjoy. Playing the fool shouldn’t let her government off the hook for years of truth-twisting, rule-breaking, cruelty and hypocrisy. Besides she’s a really, really bad rapper.
If there are no adults left in the room, the kids will get eventually get bored playing up for attention and just keep quiet. Here’s hoping.
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