Alison Rowat: Channel 4 ain't broken, so why are Ministers trying to fix it?

But as Tory MPs wishing to put Partygate in the recycling bin never tire of telling us, there are vastly more important things to concern us. Like Ukraine, the cost of living emergency, and, of course, Channel 4 privatisation.

Yes, you did read that correctly. Nadine Dorries, the Culture Secretary, was so keen to crack on with selling the home of Unreported World and Hollyoaks that she took to Twitter on Monday evening to announce it. Some households have wine o’clock, Ms Dorries has privatisation hour.

According to the Culture Secretary, the state-owned, commercially-funded channel is in trouble. Channel 4 might be forgiven for thinking it was doing not too badly (revenues of £1 billion plus last year, 44 Bafta nominations, including 11 for standout drama It’s a Sin), but Ms Dorries reckons it is being held back from competing against Netflix and Amazon by an inability to raise its own money. Backing up his Cabinet colleague yesterday, Sajid Javid said privatisation would “set Channel 4 free”.

Trouble is, it is hard to find many who agree with Ms Dorries, particularly in her own party. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, said one MP. Is it revenge for supposedly biased Brexit coverage, wondered another. Baroness Ruth Davidson (she is doing awfy well for herself in that London) was one of several to raise an eyebrow over the selling-off of “British cultural assets” that don’t cost the taxpayer anything, and support private production companies in cities across the UK, including Glasgow.

Channel 4 in many ways is the very model of a thriving broadcaster. It was even started by Margaret Thatcher. How much more of a Conservative Party seal of approval could it have? And yet, Ms Dorries is going ahead with a policy that did not even make it into the party’s manifesto.

Privatising Channel 4 makes no sense financially, operationally, ideologically, or any other way, so why do it? In the answer to that lies a sneak preview of the future should the Conservatives win the next General Election, which coincidentally must be held by 2024, the same year the estimated £1 billion from the sale of Channel 4 might be making its way into government coffers. Handy, that.

We must not be cynical though. Perhaps the Culture Secretary has some cracking business intelligence that makes her sure what she is doing is right. Considering she appeared not to know that Channel 4, unlike the BBC, receives no public money and pays its own way through advertising, I think we can rule that one out.

Equally strange is the idea that the likes of Netflix are champing at the bit to buy content from a privatised Channel 4. That would be the Netflix which is only now on the road to making any money? The Netflix that many households are quitting due to its price hikes? The Netflix that aims to be as mainstream as possible to maximise its international presence? The very same.

Which brings us back to the question of motive. It is always tempting to explain Ms Dorries’ actions by saying, “Oh well, that’s Nadine for you.” In a Government hardly short of “characters”, the MP for Mid Bedfordshire, stands out. Born and brought up in Liverpool, daughter of a bus driver, nurse by training, writes soapy novels featuring plucky working class heroines, she describes herself on Twitter as “Author. Mum. Nanna.” She loathes snobs and once dismissed David Cameron and George Osborne as “two arrogant posh boys”. On paper, she has a lot to recommend her. But in person …

Each to their own, however. The boss likes her, even though he’s just as posh as Dave and George, and she is Boris’s number one fan in return, coming out fighting for him if ever he should be under attack. This generally involves her in interviews often described, charitably, as “car crash”. Ms Dorries doesn’t care, she will take them all on, your Krishnan Guru-Murthys, your Charlie Stayts, and their clever clog questions.

Which brings us to the notion that privatisation is Conservative payback for Channel 4 News’ dogged pursuit of Partygate, its coverage of Brexit, or its cheeky replacement of a no-show Boris Johnson with an ice sculpture in a climate change debate. Surely not, less cynical heads might say. The idea that a government would go to all that trouble and expense just to satisfy a grudge is preposterous. But have you met the Conservatives? The only target they enjoy attacking more is the BBC, and giving Channel 4 a hard time is just another way of unnerving Auntie.

There was that moment recently, mind you, when Ms Dorrries became quite emotional when speaking about journalists’ bravery in Ukraine. And she is no stranger to the media herself, having been on I’m a Celebrity. But if you wanted, as a Government, to give the media a poke in the chest, to remind the industry that you are watching it in every sense, then what better way of keeping it on its toes than a privatisation here or a review of the licence fee there? All in the run-up to the next General Election, too. If this is the control freak direction of travel for the next Conservative Government we should all be worried.

Privatising Channel 4 is such an obviously daft move it is hard to imagine it going much further, but it will. The Government will soon realise the public hate the idea even more than a section of the Conservative Party does. It is the done thing to say Channel 4 has had its day, and it was its own worst enemy with shows like Naked Attraction.

But it’s the same Channel 4 that brought viewers Friends, Sex and the City, Brookside, and The Simpsons, and current hits, from The Supervet to Gogglebox and The Great British Bake Off. In a fight between Channel 4 and this Government for the public’s affection, there is only one winner and it is not Ms Dorries.