IT was a day of goodbyes at FMQs.
Goodbye to the quarter of MSPs choosing to leave at May’s election.
Goodbye to the others who don’t know they’re leaving yet.
Goodbye to Ken Macintosh, the Parliament’s never-knowingly exciting Presiding Officer.
Goodbye and good riddance to an ugly year and ugly scandals.
And above all, at least in Nicola Sturgeon’s narrowed eyes, it was goodbye to her favourite chewtoy.
Holyrood Tory leader Ruth Davidson, as you may have heard from the First Minister once or twice, is off to the nearest ermine outlet and the House of Lords.
Before she went, Ms Davidson asked about pupils catching up on school work after the pandemic.
Ms Sturgeon expressed her delight that, instead of banging on about that awful Salmond bloke again, Ms Davidson was “back on to the issue of education and attainment in what is, of course, her last FMQs before she goes to the unelected House of Lords”.
As if already glowing with port, Baroness Sayonara smiled indulgently, before bringing up Mr Salmond for old times sakes.
“A bit of contrition from the First Minister might be in order,” she said, “after the failures of her Government have been exposed.”
Ms Sturgeon got chewing.
“I’ve shown plenty of contrition,” she said, adding the vital caveat “where that has been merited”.
As for the D-minus on schools, she had an answer for that too.
“I hope to be standing here again in the next parliamentary session - that is up to the Scottish people.
“While Ruth Davidson is off taking £300 a day to sit in the unelected House of Lords, those of us who are in this chamber will be getting on with the job of improving education for all.”
She forgot to mention the £432 a day she gets as First Minister, but she forgets all sorts these days.
It was too much for the PO.
“I appreciate that this is a political exchange, and I always allow some latitude, but you have twice mentioned the House of Lords, First Minister.
“The point has been made.”
But not nearly enough, harrumphed the SNP benches.
“I get it, and I understand it,” continued Mr Macintosh, “but the point has been made, and I would rather that it was not so personal.”
Oh, it’s personal, all right, said Ms Sturgeon’s scowl. That one’s off to a cosy life and I’m stuck here forgetting 100 Salmond facts a day.
“Gallant but not required, Presiding Officer,” trilled Lady Fleeting of Ciao. The FM struck.
“As that was her final question, I say that I genuinely wish Ruth Davidson well,” she smiled. Not even James Hamilton believed that one.
“Five years ago, she was trying to persuade people that she was the next First Minister. That did not quite work out. But I hope that she has a happy time... in the House of Lords, Presiding Officer.”
Now let me at that Ross boy.
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