WHAT a difference a Prime Minister makes. There used to be a time, back before it wasn’t an obstacle to promotion, that Jackson Carlaw was aghast at the idea of a no-deal Brexit.
It was bad for the Union, it was bad for the economy, and, perhaps most significantly, it was bad for one Jackson Carlaw, whose douce Eastwood constituency is jolly well up to high doh over it.
But that was before Boris Johnson entered Number 10 and Ruth Davidson quit to spend more time with her own burbling toddler, creating a vacancy for the leadership of the Scottish Tories.
Mr Carlaw, whose previous career in the motor trade taught him the value of a swift paint job, suddenly made peace with his doubts and became a no-deal super-fan.
He ordered his staff to stop referring to him as the “interim” Scottish leader as it made him sound weak. “For life” has such a sweeter ring to it.
“All power then to Boris Johnson,” he then declared at the Tory conference in Manchester. We don’t yet know if Mr Johnson noticed this heroic U-turn, but Nicola Sturgeon most certainly did.
By the time FMQs rolled round, she’d been waiting four days to let rip, and it showed.
Mr Carlaw began by revealing - gasp! - that he backed the Prime Minister’s new offer to the EU. Why, all it lacked was a Nobel prize.
Behind him, Ms Davidson wore a face like a broken brick. Rock hard and aimed at the back of his skull.
Ms Sturgeon didn’t see any point being subtle either.
“We found out this week that Jackson Carlaw will vote for whatever Boris Johnson tells him to vote for,” were the first words from her mouth.
BoJo’s ScoBro tried again.
If Ms Sturgeon wanted to avoid no-deal, why not tell her MPs to vote for a deal instead?
“Jackson Carlaw has no credibility on this, or perhaps on anything else, after this week,” she bawled at him.
“He has completely abandoned the interests of the Scottish people - shame on him for that. No wonder his colleagues want rid of him.
“I thought Labour was the master when it came to getting rid of leaders, but at least it waits until they’re elected.
“Jackson Carlaw is about to be ousted before he’s even elected!” she rejoiced.
Mr Carlaw, the car dealer who became a no-dealer, puttered out like one of his old bangers. A few more flops like this and he may be stuck on the forecourt of fate forever.
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