AMONG hundreds of files released last week by the Boundary Commission for Scotland about a constituency review, Unspun particularly liked the transcript of Scottish Secretary David Mundell’s evidence at a dusty public hearing in Glasgow. We quote: “Are there any questions for Mr Mundell? (Pause). DM: This is easier than being in the House of Commons.” Not to mention more convivial for Scotland’s sole Tory MP.
IN more stressful situations, Mr Mundell is well-known for developing a tremulous voice, which rises and wobbles in proportion to the pressure applied to him. Unspun hears it's not his only nervous affliction. Our spy reports that while he was being grilled by the BBC’s formidable Andrew Neil yesterday, Mr Mundell’s legs began to visibly shake in fear. His vibrating limbs quickly led to him being dubbed the ‘human cricket’ by observers.
SCOTTISH LibDems hold their conference in Perth next week. In a metaphor for their slippery hold on political life, it’s at an ice rink. The party last week issued a press release featuring the wrong internet link to the agenda. Those clicking it found a page featuring an oil rig and a “Top Secret” banner. In a dig at Nat conspiracy theorists, it said: “Well, this is a bit embarrassing. Unfortunately, like the secret oil fields, this page can't be found.”
HIPSTER beard Tory Jamie Greene had some hard truths for MSPs in a debate on the new BBC Scotland TV channel. “It might be hard for some in this chamber to believe, but people at home right now are not watching us, they’re watching Flog It. And at 5.15 you’ll be glad to know, Pointless is coming on. And, no, that isn’t just another government debate on Brexit.” Even some Nats laughed at that one - against their will, of course.
MR Greene knows a fair bit about TV, having been an executive at UK kids channel Nickelodeon. He even snagged an award for his work with a “rapping water-efficient camel” called Gabi H2O, an inspirational dromedary who told children to turn off taps and flush the loo less. As a prelude to working with Tory backbenchers, it surely proved invaluable experience.
CONTINUITY No outfit Scotland in Union are getting the bunting out for a launch on the eve of the SNP conference Their new CEO is former Labour MSP Graeme Pearson, who candidly admits to Unspun he had “never heard” of the group until being tapped as its boss. However the offer of £1000 a week for 1.5 days proved an offer he couldn’t forget.
SOME late colour just in from last week’s Scottish Labour conference, where a fringe event heard a heartfelt plea from one delegate. Urging party bosses to get stuck into the SNP, he yowled: “There are some evil bastards there. Where are our evil bastards?” And at the oh-so cerebral Fabian Society too. We also liked former Glasgow MP Ian Davidson’s tongue-in-cheek introduction to the room: “My name is Ian, and I voted Leave."
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