Party politics
DECEMBER is the month of the office shindig, when people who have been trapped all year behind desks, sitting next to colleagues they despise, choose to be trapped with those same colleagues for just a little while longer, in a swanky bar.
Reader Linda Ellis’s husband was at an office party at the beginning of the week, and he arrived back home pure stotious.
Linda was not impressed, and decided to revenge herself upon her errant spouse by refusing to talk to him the next morning.
When hubby realised he was likely to be in the dog-house for the whole of December, he went crawling to Linda and, with pleading eyes, said: “Would we be able to get past this if I get an official pardon from Joe Biden?”
(Linda’s answer was an unpresidential: “Aye, right.”)
Pedal power
THE changing face of Scotland is a wonder to behold.
Reader Grant Sawyer was strolling along Sauchiehall Street with a pal when they spotted one of those ubiquitous Deliveroo cyclists pedalling madly, yet somehow managing not to collide with any of the pedestrians.
Grant’s pal chuckled, then said: “In the old days ‘on yer bike’ was a way of telling someone to go to hell. Now it’s a career opportunity.”
Working woes
THE teenage son of Megan Jones is in his first year at Strathclyde Uni.
It’s a hard life, having to attend the occasional lecture, wedged in between numerous study sessions in the pubs and clubs of Glasgow.
Understandably such scholarly challenges are starting to take their toll on the poor chap.
The other day he said to Megan: “Why can’t the whole of life take place in bed? I’ve had enough of this getting up and doing things.”
The running man
IT’S a few weeks early for New Year’s resolutions, but that hasn’t prevented reader William Stroud from improving his attitude.
“I started jogging for the first time yesterday,” he proudly tells us. “That wasn’t the original plan. But the ice cream van didn’t stop.”
Winging it
THE Diary has been wondering if it is truly possible to count how many bees are in a field.
Ian Noble from Carstairs Village comes to the rescue with this advice: “Counting bees is very easy. First count the wings. Now half the total. Job done.”
Gone for a song
YULETIDE-LOVING David Hull says: “I've decided to form a choir this Christmas. Anyone wanting to join is welcome. So far, it’s just Dean, Don, Mary, Lee and I.”
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