Brewhaha

AS a proud resident of the DPRM (Democratic People's Republic of Maryhill) reader Eddy Cavin has been collecting his favourite observations about Glasgow’s West End.

Here’s a few things Eddy’s noticed…

1. Coffee shops: there just aren’t enough these days, are there? (We have a sneaking suspicion Eddy’s being sarcastic, folks.)

2. Queues outside coffee shops. Why?! Doesn’t anyone own a kettle and a jar of Nescafe?

3. Why are so many local coffee shops unable to make tea? And, no, providing a glass of hot water with a teabag on the side doesn’t count.

 

Food for thought

THE Diary’s Travel Correspondent David Donaldson informs us that there’s a pop-up cafe in Caithness called Scone With The Wind.

 “Makes me wonder,” says David, “if there's a Seven Bridies For Seven Brothers eatery in Forfar.”

                                                 

Banging entertainment

POSH London shop Fortnum & Mason is punting Christmas crackers at £500 a pop.

Reader Julie Semple says they had better do more than make the disappointing ‘Phut!’ noise of your average yanked cracker.

“At that price,” she says, “you should get a real bang for your buck. I’d ask for my money back unless Taylor Swift leaps out of one of the crackers and starts singing a medley of her greatest hits.”

 

Bozo boyfriend

MORE mega-money matters.

Peter Wright from West Kilbride notes that for the rest of the season Man U fans are being charged £66 to attend a match.

Our sporting correspondent also points out that football players are now held in higher regard than they were decades ago.

“In the old days,” he says, “if a young lady brought home a boyfriend who was a footballer, her parents would be downcast, thinking here was a thug without much going for him.

“On the other hand, if she brought home a groundsman… now here was a lad with a bright future and a job for life.”

 

Count on us

A HEARTENING story appeared in The Herald about the rewilding of a Perthshire field, leading to an increase in the bumblebee population from a measly (or should that be beezly?) 35 bumblebees to a buzztastic 4,056.

This delights Hugh Steele from Cumbernauld, though he’d like to know how it was possible to count the stripey wee things.

“Maybe,” he says, “it was only a couple of hundred bees constantly on the move round the observers' heads giving a false impression?”

 

Pass fails  

“APPARENTLY you can't use 'Beefstew' as a computer password,” says Nigel Barr. “It's not stroganoff.”