Sleep of reason

GLASGOW dads are the best. They’ll do anything for their kids. Even confront the hideous face of the Grim Reaper.

Or at least a close approximation of the chilling chap with the scythe.

Richard Hughes was catching the early morning train when he heard a bloke telling a pal that he had accompanied his daughter to see the rock group Sleep Token play the Hydro.

It had not been an especially heart-warming occasion, for the band are notorious for wearing scary masks and, as the chap put it: “Singin’ aboot death, death, death.”

His chum nodded in commiseration: “Not your cup of tea?”

“Ach, no,” sighed the gloomy gig victim. “Now I’m tryin’ tae get ma daughter intae Rod Stewart. But she’s no havin’ it. Says there isnae enough death for a fun night oot.”

 

Darkness visible

MORE doom and gloom.

Correction: No doom. Oodles of gloom.

Paul Weir was in a Glasgow coffee shop and needed to use the toilet.

Visiting the WC he was confronted with the pitch darkness more commonly associated with a Sleep Token concert.

“Someone’s nicked the lightbulb,” the barista explained. “It’s always happening.”

“People steal the lightbulbs?” repeated a shocked Paul. “Why on earth do they do that?”

The barista shrugged, then posited a suggestion: “Cos it’s more of a challenge than stealing the toilet rolls?”

 

7 Up  

COATBRIDGE comic book author and Netflix bigwig Mark Millar has described what it takes to be a success in the media landscape.

“I start work around 6.30am,” he says, “school run at 8am, porridge for breakfast after, work solid until 3pm, high protein lunch like chicken and veg, work until 4.30, weights/ swim for an hour every other day, work calls, then steak or chicken for dinner. Nothing after 7pm except alcohol.”

The Diary isn’t impressed. The only bit we connect with is the strict exercise regime that commences after 7pm…

 

What’s up, Doc?

A FAMILIAR story.

“The doctor said he wanted to discuss my weight,” says Karen Fraser. “So I said, ‘It was about 30 minutes, but at least the chairs were comfy.’”

Pithy Chris Robertson says: “They could have saved themselves a lot of effort by just writing ‘the hot shower is currently not’.”Pithy Chris Robertson says: “They could have saved themselves a lot of effort by just writing ‘the hot shower is currently not’.” (Image: Contributed)

Kitchen confidential

CHAUVINISM is alive and thriving in the house of Brian Fletcher, who says: “My wife’s away, so I'm cooking. I had to ring her to ask where we keep the kitchen...”