Walk this way
EAGER reader Jim Gillespie was delighted to discover it was National Take a Hike Day on Sunday.
“I got up early,” he says, “so I could phone all my friends, who really annoy me. I was cock-a-hoop that I’d been given official permission to tell them all to take a bloomin’ hike.”
Imagine Jim’s disappointment when he discovered the event was about encouraging people to enjoy a healthy stroll.
Says Jim: “Isn’t it time those people who invent all those ‘national days’ started catering to permanently furious people like me?”
Sunday shenanigans
IT continues to be stormy in Stornoway with followers of the capitalist creed battling those of a less mammon-centred faith.
In other words, Tesco opened there for the first time on Sunday, thus breaking the long-respected rules of the Sabbath.
Local chap John Mulholland decided to see what the fuss was about.
“It was rumoured that church members would be holding a silent protest,” says John, “and I feared having to run the gauntlet of silence.”
Thankfully, when he parked his car (in the very busy car park) there were no protesters, allowing him to continue his shopping trip: “With a nod to the Sabbath, I bought bread and wine which, of course, had to be Chateauneuf-du-Pape.”
Colour coordination
RUGBY fan Iain Fullarton enjoyed the recent contest between two of the world’s greatest practitioners of the sport… the Scotland A team and the Scotland B team.
Correction: it was France v New Zealand, which is almost as good, and included the additional exotic thrill of the Kiwi crew prancing around in their away strip.
However, Iain admits there was room for improvement, and says: “Disappointed that the commentators covering the match didn't take the opportunity of stating 'For those of you watching in colour, the All Blacks are in white.’”
Talking balls
POLITICS, American style.
Wacky President-elect Donald Trump has appointed wacky billionaire and rocket-man Elon Musk to run DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency).
Eric Anderson was explaining this to his 12-year-old son, who said: “Is DOGE something to do with Doge Ball?”
Woeful web-head
OVERHEARD on the bus by Ed Thomas.
A young bloke said to his mate: “My dad’s a pure eejit. He tried googling ‘Google’ to find out how to spell Google.”
Hard to swallow
“I'M not the best chef in the world,” admits Lisa Barr. “I bought corned beef, potatoes and onions and thought I'd cook something. Obviously I made a hash of it…”
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