Rainy ruminations
THE late bus home from Glasgow city centre can be a treacherous vehicle to travel on, for there are many inebriated souls rattling about on it.
Though it’s also the source of much wisdom, as Harry Kidd discovered.
He was sitting on the top floor of a double-decker at eleven o’clock on a dreich evening, huddled inside his coat, and staring out the window, which is the best way to avoid eye contact with dubious bus-dwellers.
This cunning tactic didn’t prevent a booze-addled auld fella, carrying a raggedy umbrella, from staggering down the aisle and plonking himself in the seat next to Harry.
To our reader’s horror, he realised that the chap was keen on opening up a dialogue, though he proved to be a rather astute elderly chap, for, glancing at his bedraggled umbrella, he muttered to Harry: “Haw, pal. Dae ye hink an umbrella ever looked at a parasol and thought tae itself, how come you got the cushy gig?”
The history man
THE internet is a modern day marvel. As revolutionary an invention as the wheel, the aeroplane and the nasal hair trimmer.
Though not everyone is a fan of the World Wide Web and its wondrous ways.
Reader Chris Robertson has a pal who is a history teacher. The two chaps were in the boozer, and Chris’s friend was bemoaning advances in technology.
“Google spoiled everything,” he grumbled. “I used to just make up historical facts and none of my pupils would be able to check.”
“They could have opened a book and found the facts there,” noted Chris.
“Open a book?!” snorted the pal. “Even I’d never do that.”
(The chap was joking, of course. At least Chris HOPED he was joking.)
Footy fella
HISTORY, continued.
“Is it true,” asks reader Steven Glynn, “that the French inventor of the sandal was Philippe Philoppe?”
Reign-y ruminations
CONFUSED Sarah Currie says: “When I was a kid I read loads of fairy tales about Prince Charming, but no stories about King Charming. Did he never get a promotion?”
Drinkies and doggies
TIPPLING news.
David Donaldson is intrigued by a new Glasgow whisky, which is clearly proud of its origins as it’s marketed under the label 'No Mean City'.
David is curious to discover if Edinburgh will also be punting their version of the hard stuff.
He suggests it should be named… Burke And Hare Of The Dog.
Grammar drama
THEATRICAL expert Lucy Robinson explains: “The past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared.”
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