Tricky situation

THE Diary was sad to hear of the closing of Tam Shepherds, the magic tricks and joke shop, which traded from its Queen Street premises since 1886.

The business remains online, and there’s a possibility it might open in another location in the future, but this is still the end of an era.

On social media the unwelcome vanishing act is not being applauded.

One mournful commentator perfectly expresses his feelings of loss and grief by saying: “Ach, bought my first fake jobby there.”

Ruminating on room

CHEMISTRY teacher Barry Williams was describing to his class the combustibility of certain compounds, and happened to mention that one mixture was safe to store at room temperature.

For clarification, Barry added that the scientific definition of room temperature is 15 to 25 degrees centigrade.

One of the pupils at the back of the class was clearly confused by this statement, and immediately thrust a hand in the air, before asking: “Does that mean that if the temperature is 30 degrees in ma bedroom I cannae call it ma bedroom, cos it isnae really a room, cos it isnae at room temperature?”

Barry, a highly experienced teacher, had the perfect answer for such a scholarly query.

“Shut it, son,” he said.

Chap chats chips

AN Ayrshire reader recalls shopping for fruit and veg on Glasgow’s Peel Street.

Afterwards she was bundling her daughter and pram into the car, and had left a bag of potatoes on the roof.

A concerned chap in a white van shouted over: “Hey, missus. Don’t forget your potatoes or they might get chipped.”

Foster Evans spotted this intriguingly flavoured whisky, which comes in handy when the peanut butter jar in your cupboard is empty. Just splosh some of this hooch on a slice of bread, and you won’t be able to tell the difference.Foster Evans spotted this intriguingly flavoured whisky, which comes in handy when the peanut butter jar in your cupboard is empty. Just splosh some of this hooch on a slice of bread, and you won’t be able to tell the difference. (Image: free) Fast worker

ENGINEER Joe Williams was searching for a new job, and a pal in the same line of work informed him of a vacancy at his firm.

“Is it a good place to work?” enquired Joe.

“I’ll let you find out for yourself,” said the pal. “But let’s just say staff turn over is brisk. We’ve had more engineers through the doors in a year than Leonardo DiCaprio’s had unsuitably young girlfriends.”

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Chocs away

SWEET-TOOTHED reader Claire Stewart admits: “When I see chocolate I hear two voices in my head. One says: ‘Eat the chocolate.’ The other says: ‘You heard her, eat the chocolate.’”

Wiley western ways

A VALUABLE history lesson from reader Colin Browning, who says: “Cowboys used to put a lantern on their saddle at night so they could find the trail when they were far from home. This was an early version of Saddle Light Navigation.”