We’re in our local park on a sunny, brisk October weekend and my son has just run over to me in bright red all-in-one waterproofs, his hair slicked down to his head looking like a beautiful, ecstatic selkie.
‘Excuse me, do you know your little boy is sticking his head right under the water pump?’ The grandma puckers her mouth in disapproval at our son’s choice of playtime activity. I smile and laugh in response. ‘Oh we know! He does it everytime.’ I know her disapproval is as much concern that he’ll ‘catch his death’ and I don’t want to get into a debate about child rearing. Let her get on with unnecessarily anxiously hovering around her granddaughter on the rope ladder though the kid is climbing like she’s been trained by the SAS.
In six weeks, our family is moving to Sweden, and we’ll no doubt be in another play park. My son will still be a four-year-old who loves dunking his head in water, making mud pies and rolling around in whatever dirt he can find - part feral animal, part boy.
People have said often, ‘Another move?! I can’t keep up with you all!’ And they are absolutely right. This is our fourth city in four years thanks to my needing access to specific, life-saving medical services and housing precarity. But, our kid’s future has been at the very heart of every decision and our move to Sweden is no different. First of all, we were able to afford to buy a beautiful apartment in a lovely area - something that felt impossible in the UK as the housing crisis continues to burn bright like the bin fire it is. Second, in the 2024 World Happiness Report, Sweden comes in at number four while the UK comes in at number 20. Third, I can access excellent healthcare for my complicated autoimmune condition - the UK has few beds, fewer CT scanners, fewer doctors and nurses and, no surprise here, worse patient outcomes.
But most, most of all, we wanted our kid to grow up as we always intended - being nourished and educated in a progressive society that allows him to be fully himself.
Read in full:
UK and Sweden healthcare comparisons
Gender neutral education report
I did not understand how important education would be until I started worrying about it when my son was three-months-old and still taking contact naps like a little mollusc attached to my chest. But once I had our child the idea of leaving him with a stranger was unthinkable, let alone letting those strangers shape his world outlook and sense of self. Fast forward three years and we were seeing our little boy off to his first half-day at a children’s centre. I still remember the weight off my shoulders even while the tears fell. It takes a village to raise a child, they say, but if you have no family support, then preschool really is your only form of support and you desperately need it to work. I should clarify, we really have no significant complaints about his UK preschool education except the extortionate cost - he has thrived and loves his teachers and classmates.
Sweden we hope will be equally positive for him. While every city and region differ in their preschool policies in Malmö, where my son will go, a nursery day can run from 6.30am to 5.30pm with extra provision for those who work unsociable hours in evenings and weekends. All meals from breakfast to dinner are included as well as some sort of daily outing. That’s not to say children stay for the whole day, but it is an example of truly wraparound childcare. I spoke to one Malmö mum who told me there are twelve kids to four teachers at her daughter’s nursery.
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Another parent mentioned there are two weeks of settling in time which allows even the most nervous child time to adjust and bond fully so the following months are smoother. Most mentioned the fact that children do not begin formal education until seven-years-old, instead being taught through play until this age. Besides this, outdoor education is prioritised with 90 minutes of play outside in winter ‘bad weather’ and up to 6 hours in good weather. For my own part, as the mum of a boy who eschews trucks and superheroes but who loves pink and Barbie and Disney Princesses, I’m grateful to see that Sweden has been at the forefront of developing a curriculum that encourages gender neutrality.
The grand cost for this care? It is means tested and the absolute maximum payment in Malmö is 1688 Swedish Krona or just over £124. But for us, two freelancing creatives, our fees will likely even out to around £30…that’s not per day. That’s PER MONTH.
It’s true you pay for all these benefits in higher taxes and I, for one, am happy to. A fair tax system that provides public infrastructure that allows parents and children to stay happy, productive and healthy seems…exactly how it should be? I have often seen the idea of Scotland as having more in common with Scandinavian countries than our nearest neighbours and I hope, for all of us, this continues to be the case.
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