That sinking feeling

WE’RE always hearing how wonderful past generations were, compared to the current crop of Scots.

But people from long ago had foibles of their own, notes David Donaldson.

His grandmother was a teacher in the 1950s, when many tenements only had a shared WC on the half-landing.

She was once trying to encourage pupils to express themselves by describing the sort of wholesome lives they enjoyed outside the school gates. 

"Who can tell me what their daddy does when he comes home from work?" she asked.  

"Please Miss," said a wee fella called Robert, "takes aff his bunnet an' pees in the sink."

 

Just visiting

THE Diary hears good things about Zhima, the swanky Chinese restaurant near Glasgow’s George Square.

Reader Chris Robertson was enjoying a meal there when an elderly couple strode into the premises, didn’t wait to be seated, and plonked themselves at a table.

“Um, can I help you?” inquired a waitress.

“No thanks,” replied the old lady. “We’re just in here tae try oot the furniture.”

After they had been sitting for about five seconds, they promptly left.

“Very curious,” shrugged the waitress, then returned to scribbling orders in her notepad.

 

Hard to swallow

SCIENCE corner.

Insouciant reader Bruce Marshall says: “I'm not sure I believe all the stuff I read in the news about genetically modified food being bad for you. I had a really tasty leg of salmon and feel fine.”

 

Just the job

AN epic tale of a humble childhood followed by inspiring triumph.

Jeff Auton from Bathgate tells us: “My English teacher often told me I'd never get a job if I spent all day looking out the window.

“So I had quite the smug look on my face when I served him at the drive-through.”

 

Fright night

YIKES!  It’s Halloween this evening, and the Diary is already cowering behind the sofa, terrified we’ll have to share our sweeties with pesky guisers.

The book we’re perusing whilst hiding is the new release from Glasgow author, Deedee Cuddihy: The Wee Guide to Spooky Stuff.

In the book, Deedee interviews locals about their paranormal experiences.

One woman says: “A girl at primary school told us she had a snottery nose all the time because when she was visiting a castle, a witch who had been hiding around a corner jumped out and put a spell on it.”

 

Dream on

A COLOURFUL remark from reader Georgina Barker, who points out: “Dreaming in colour is just a pigment of your imagination.”