Scary mistake

GLASGOW author, Deedee Cuddihy, thought her proof-reading skills were perfect, until she took delivery this week of "The Wee Guide to Spooky Stuff’" the latest title in her Funny Scottish Books series, and spotted a glaring error.

Writing about the famous incident when a group of kids went vampire hunting in Glasgow's Southern Necropolis back in 1954, Deedee placed the graveyard in… Govan.

Uh-oh.

The Southern Necropolis is, of course, in the Gorbals.

A bullish Deedee is refusing to take responsibility for the error, and the correction slips she's had printed to insert in each copy of the book state that "some kind of paranormal mischief-making" is to blame.

Of course it is…

 

Spot of sport

YAY! The Commonwealth Games are coming to Glasgow in 2026.

For anyone who isn’t aware of this jamboree of physical prowess, it’s rather like the Olympic Games, in much the same way that Cliff Richard is rather like Elvis.

Unfortunately the Games are going to be even less glamorous than Cliff wiggling in roller-skates in the Wired for Sound video. (Look it up on YouTube. It’s a treat.)

The Glesga Games is dumping several events to cut costs. Amongst the sports getting the heave-ho are table tennis and wrestling.

The Diary believes the organisers should have combined instead of cut, resulting in wrestlers beating each other up with table tennis bats.

Meanwhile, dedicated Games guru Stevie Campbell from Hamilton is bucking the trend by demanding more activities, not less.

He says: “Any chance we could have a new event introduced… Filling in Potholes. A suggested venue would be Auldhouse Road in the Southside.”

 

Telephonic tantrum

PROUD reader Wendy Leach says: “Not to brag, but I was alive when you could SLAM the phone down to hang up on someone. Sure was fun!”

Ted Majors says: “I’m assuming a few balls get punctured. A few players, too.”Ted Majors says: “I’m assuming a few balls get punctured. A few players, too.” (Image: From Public)

Snot very nice

PRIMARY teacher Dawn Eaton admits being stumped for an answer when a pupil asked: “Does eating your own bogies make you a cannibal?”

 

Ratty McRatface

THE Diary is discussing the glamorous topic of vermin, rats in particular.

We mentioned that a large container in Glasgow, jampacked with the icky beasts, has been moved.

But moved where, we’re curious to discover.

David Donaldson says: “An unkind friend, a Glaswegian living down South, suggested the container should be trucked aboard one of the elderly CalMac ferries.  

“This would then be the first recorded instance of rats joining a stricken ship.”

 

Hard to swallow

FILM buff Bill Newman says: “Al Pacino’s brother, Cap, is not my cup of tea.”