Good crack
A DIARY story about a mirthful medic reminds reader John Harrison of his father, who had a very curious sense of humour, and once found it necessary to visit a consultant proctologist.
After a successful remedy to his problem, he sent the consultant a bottle of malt whisky as a thank you, along with the following note: "A gift for the consultant who likes to widen the circle of his friends."
Brolly wally
ENGLISH teacher Gordon Fisher from Stewarton was working with his pupils on the short story People Like That by Agnes Owens, which is set in Glasgow’s Central Station.
After the class had finished an initial reading, one of Gordon’s students asked, very earnestly indeed: "Why is that bridge at Central called The Helium Man's Umbrella?"
Gordon tells the Diary: “Before putting her right about the name, I couldn't help but think of lots of Gaelic-squeaking Joe Pasquales having a right good natter whilst sheltering from a downpour.”
Musical musings
CELEBRITY corner.
Reader Bill Smillie was discussing the music of the 1980s at a hotel front desk when the receptionist claimed that he’d once met Tony Hadley of Spandau Ballet.
Quick as a flash, Bill asked the boastful chap if this was… True.
Classy glassy gal
SHOPPING in the Newton Mearns Marks & Spencer, reader Zoe Simpson couldn’t help but overhear the conversation of a very posh couple, who were strolling in the aisles with their toddler.
At one point the man and woman had a bit of a tiff about something not very serious, leading the lady to bend down and say to her young child in a cut-glass accent: “What do you think, darling? Is daddy being a bit of a bam?”
Journeyman
ADVENTUROUS reader Bob Jamieson recently returned from a jaunt to that most stylish of Italian cities, Milan, where he spotted a sign for an intriguing location.
“On the Metro there is a station called Zara,” he tells us. “Presumably as in: ‘Zara stoap fur the Duomo?’”
Ring of truth?
A TALE of romance gone awry.
Reader Ewan Henley reveals that he was shopping for an engagement ring to propose to his girlfriend, and the assistant in the jewellers asked: “What's her favourite stone?”
The comical chap replied: “We’ve never actually discussed it, but probably Keith Richards.”
Worrisome waterworks
UNFORTUNATE reader Tom Hogan gets in touch with the Diary to tell us: “My doctor recently explained that I had a bladder infection. ‘Urine trouble,’ I thought to myself.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here