Talking Frankly

TAYLOR Swift holds a soft spot in the Diary’s heart, for we think of her as the modern era’s Frank Sinatra.

True, Taylor wears more pairs of high-heel shoes than Frank ever did. And Frank had a wider range of fedora hats.

But essentially they’re the same thing… wondrous warblers with loads of fans.

Though being a princess of 21st century entertainment, Taylor is in ownership of something Frank never enjoyed.

A huge social media following.

Reader Jim Mason’s 15-year-old daughter said to him: “D’you know that Taylor Swift has millions of followers on Instagram? Like five times the population of a major country. She’s bigger than Scotland.”

To which Jim (Swiftly) replied: “She’s bigger AND better than Scotland. Because Taylor doesn’t have traffic jams, pollution and a rubbish football team.”

 

The name game

WE mentioned a bus stop has been built the wrong way round in the village of Toward, causing much confusion and angst amongst locals.

Reader Graham Scott says: “Perhaps the name of the village should be changed from Toward to Backward.”

 

Love, actually

ROMANCE isn’t quite dead in the city of Glasgow, it seems.

Samantha Davidson was on a city centre bus and overheard a teenage girl ask her pal: “Are you lookin’ for a new boyfriend?”

The response was a firm: “No.”

“How no?” pressed the pal.

“Because,” explained the other young lady, “I realised the only person I like in this world is me.”

Chris Robertson says a sadist must have laid this carpet, and adds: “That rocket of Elon Musk’s had an easier time making it, undamaged, to the ground that anyone attempting this staircase.”Chris Robertson says a sadist must have laid this carpet, and adds: “That rocket of Elon Musk’s had an easier time making it, undamaged, to the ground than anyone attempting this staircase.” (Image: Contributed)

Time to go

FRUSTRATED John Harrison tells us: “I just remembered the clocks go back at the end of this month. Unfortunately I can’t remember where I got mine.”

 

Boozy birdy

HAVING discovered there’s a watering hole in Glasgow that celebrates the world of literature, we’re imagining what tipples should be on the drinks menu.

Gordon McRae suggests a boozy concoction based on Harper Lee’s classic novel: Tequila Mockingbird.

 

The bum deal

LET us take a moment to sympathise with one of our more unfortunate correspondents.

For Doug Burns informs us that he visited his GP for one of those intrusive examinations that chaps undergo when they reach a certain age.

While the examination was under way Doug glanced across the surgery and spotted a picture on the wall of Billy Connolly.

“Why d’you have that in your surgery?” asked Doug.

“It cheers people up,” said the doc.

“It’s not working,” winced Doug.

 

Wobbly wonders

BIOLOGICALLY-SAVVY Brian Mooney says: “Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years, despite not having brains. Which gives hope to many people.”