Tipples & tomes
BIBLIOPHILE David Donaldson is thrilled by the news that the Glasgow restaurant previously known as the Fat Lobster has been turned into a haven of alcoholic erudition in the form of The Last Bookstore.
Not only will the establishment be lined with books, but the cocktail menu includes tipples inspired by authors whose work is connected to booze. 
So what drinks will be included? David suggests a bracing brace of gin-based cocktails… Jack London Gin and Kingsley Amis’s Lucky Gin.

Poetic puzzler 
LITERATURE, continued. 
A Diary article about a book club member who had never heard of the famous scribe Rudyard Kipling reminds Bob Byiers of the story of the Army Education Corps officer announcing to his class of squaddies that the following week someone was arriving from the local university to give a talk on Keats, then adding: “But don’t ask me what a keat is.”

Seasonal celebrations
DELIGHTED reader June Harvey says: “Thank goodness it’s finally October, which means all of the cobwebs and dust in my house instantly became Halloween decorations.”

Getting the needle 
WEST END author Deedee Cuddihy was chatting to an older chum about those new fangled RSV vaccinations for the 75-plus age group. She informed Deedee that she cancelled her appointment for the jab. “Why?” asked Deedee. 
“Well,” replied the chum, “it was for 7.15 on Saturday evening.” 
Deedee was surprised. 
“Do you not want to be out and about at that time of night?” she wondered.  
“Don’t be silly” said the chum. “It’s because ‘Strictly’ is on then. I don’t know who’s in charge at these vaccination centres. But they obviously don’t check the television schedules before they send out the appointments. Probably no one will turn up.”

Twisty-turny truth 
CONVIVIAL Don Murphy was in a boozer with pals when one of the chaps made a profound observation. “I know that your life can spiral out of control,” said this fellow, “but does anyone’s life ever spiral into control?”

Hard to swallow
FINE dining, Scottish style.
Reader Tom Mitchell was feeling peckish in an Aberdeen café one morning, so ordered a hearty breakfast. 
“We do full Scottish instead of full English,” said the waitress.
“What’s the difference?” enquired Tom.
“We don’t do potato scones, we do tattie scones,” she explained.
(Tom is still trying to figure out if she was kidding…)

Chickening out 
THE hard facts of life.
Reader Walter Fraser says: “The older I get, the more I understand why roosters scream to start their day.”