Boxing clever
STUART Murdoch, the front man of popular Glasgow pop band, Belle and Sebastian, is in a philosophical frame of mind, brought on by contemplating the large plastic containers he owns.
“Just had a thought,” admits Stuart. “Those funny boxes I’ve had for 20 years with stuff in, they’re pretty certainly going to last longer than me.
“You think they’re doing you a favour, holding all your stuff, but they’re just biding their time, counting the days until they outlive you.”
(The Diary is still waiting for a comment in response from the "funny boxes", so we’re not entirely sure this is their nefarious plan. We’ll keep you posted on any developments…)
Shifty coffee schlurping
THE other day reader Matthew Lodge was working on his laptop in a café, and overheard a woman at a nearby table hissing at the chap she was with. (They were both also typing on laptops.)
Said the woman: “I don’t trust people who sit in coffee shops on their own, and don’t have a laptop. I mean, what do they come for?”
The chap gave this some serious consideration, then said: “Maybe to drink coffee?”
The woman rewarded his observation with a derisive snort.
“Yeah, right,” she said. “As if!”
Says Matthew: “Lucky I had my laptop, or she’d have marched me right out the place.”
What’s up, Doc?
ON a bus, reader Stephen Greig overheard a medical discussion between two women.
“You should drink cranberry juice,” said one lady. “It’s very good for you.”
“Is that what your doctor said?” asked her pal.
“No,” confessed the first lady. “The girl who does my eyebrows.”
Animal tragic
A DEPRESSING thought from reader Stan Hunter: “The first Scooby-Doo cartoon was broadcast in 1969. If he was a real dog, he'd be dead over forty years.”
(Even more depressing. Shaggy would have a proper job by now, and probably be working in accounts.)
Stropping about shopping
THE teenage son of Wendy Duke gave a mournful sigh the other day.
His compassionate mother felt compelled to ask what ailed him so.
“I’m just back from buying groceries at Lidl,” he muttered.
“Have they put the prices up?” asked Wendy.
“It’s not that,” continued her son. “It’s just that I used to get excited about toys. Now it’s discounts at Lidl. It’s tragic how my life has fallen apart.”
TV or not TV
“I CAN’T believe I missed EastEnders again this week,” says reader Rebecca Gray. “That's the 1,281 episode in a row.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel