Roll with it?
THE other day reader Gareth Beattie’s wife was in one of those depressed and lacklustre moods that sometimes affect the natives of Scotia.
Her effervescent hubby tried to turn her frown upside down.
“Just remember,” he twinkled, “life is a rollercoaster.”
His wife failed to give him a twinkle in return.
“I hate rollercoasters,” she snarled. “They cost a fortune and make you puke.”
And, constant reader, her frown did not turn upside down. It didn’t even swivel as much as 45 degrees.
Getting shirty
STROLLING along Sauchiehall Street is similar to having a front row seat at an haute couture fashion show in Paris, for you will see the most exotic clothes imaginable.
Unlike the Paris catwalk, the models on display in Sauchiehall Street are slightly less svelte, and are mostly carrying shopping bags from Tesco.
Diary correspondent Craig Johnson spotted one male fashionista wearing a T-shirt with an intriguing message across the chest, for it read "Easily distracted by ducks".
Craig tells the Diary: “I felt sorry for the poor chap. I wonder if there’s something he can get for it on the NHS?”
Jaded Jack
PROSPEROUS passengers can often pay for a boarding pass that gets them on the plane extra quick.
According to comic actor and star of Scot Squad, Jack Docherty, such deals are not all they’re cracked up to be.
Grumbles Jack: “Let’s face it, speedy boarding is just speedy waiting.”
Clock watching
THE teenage son of reader Jenny Hatton struggles to drag himself out of bed in the morning, meaning he’s often late for university.
Jenny had a word with him about this serious matter, resulting in the surly fellow replying: “I could easily be a morning person. If morning was at 3pm.”
Hair-raising situation
FORGET tickets for a Shakespeare play. If you want a genuine heart-wrenching drama, the best place to witness one is a Glasgow bus.
Which is where reader Mary Burke was when she overheard two teenage girls chatting.
In a mournful voice, one gal said: “I went to the hairdresser the other day and got my hair scrunched. Next morning, I completely forgot I’d done it and took a shower. Now it’s back tae normal.”
“So you de-scrunchified yer own hair?” commiserated her pal. ”Wit a pure tragedy.”
Energy drink
FACT of the day from reader Donna Barker, who tells us: “Did you know that 14 muscles are used to open a bottle of wine? So wine is basically fruit salad and exercise.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here