Future imperfect
DREAMS of the orient… The wife of reader Ken Walton is Japanese.
When the couple had their first child, Ken’s mother-in-law whispered a few words in her native tongue over the baby’s cot.
Ken doesn’t speak the language, so asked his wife what she’d said.
It transpired that the elderly lady was praying that her grandson would have a bright future and fulfilling career.
“Did she specify what job she’d like him to have?” enquired Ken, who assumed his mother-in-law was praying that the wee chap would grow up to be an astronaut or brain surgeon.
Perhaps even a humble billionaire-philanthropist with his own fleet of helicopters.
“My mum has great hopes,” said Ken’s wife, “that he’ll become a respected civil servant.”
With a sigh of resignation, Ken tells the Diary: “So much for those helicopters. At least my son will have nice stationary on his desk.”
The numbers racket
IN the pub the other evening, reader Bruce Johnson was served by a chap with the number 999 tattooed on his hand.
Or perhaps, mused Bruce, it was a tattoo of the number 666.
Bruce tells the Diary: “I was too embarrassed to ask which it was, though I concluded he was either looking for help… or beyond all help.”
Pursuit of hirsute
PROFOUND thought of the day from reader Jason Sheldon, who says: “People with beards are just people without beards, with beards.”
Science for beginners
ON social media Shetland-based author and anthropologist Catherine Munro mulls over family matters, and says: “Last night my wee boy said 'nothing is the same'.
“He seemed very serious and I thought he wanted to talk about all the recent changes in our lives. Turns out he was talking about how at the sub atomic level things that look the same can be made up of different particles. He is 7.”
Adds the proud mum: “He's always been science mad.
“Last year I got him and his brother tiny Christmas trees in pots. Later I found him with both trees, with wires (thankfully unplugged!) linking the pots saying he wanted to splice their DNA and asking when he could play with real electricity.”
Bookish betrayal
IN Waterstones book shop on Sauchiehall Street Lisa Barr overheard the lady on the till ask a customer: “Do you have a loyalty card?”
“Afraid not,” replied the customer. “I’m a very disloyal person.”
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Sounding off
MUSICAL musings from reader Dave Clydesdale, who says: “If you suck at playing trumpet that’s probably why.”
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