Blue hotel
WE mentioned that Police Scotland is to introduce a survey allowing criminals to rate their stay after an evening banged-up in the cells.
Alan Gilston tells us that a pal of his carried out a minor misdemeanour, resulting in the Boys in Blue hauling him off to the cop shop, where he was detained overnight.
When he eventually arrived home he announced that he didn’t regret this little episode, for the police had rustled up a very tasty breakfast.
Hot, not bothered
ON Scottish social media the local philosophers have turned their attention to global warming, with one thoughtful person stating: “I’ve got mixed emotions towards climate change, Am sad we’re aw going to die but am happy we’re going to live out the rest of our days in glorious sunshine. Seems a fair deal to me, nothin' lasts forever, get the drinks in troops.”
Musical musings
IN the pub with a bunch of workmates, reader Dale Jones mentioned that he is a great fan of the classic soul band The Coasters.
One of his colleagues replied: “I could never like a band named after something you put a coffee cup on.”
Fancy a nibble?
A CHUM of Andy Rattigan recently started an evening course in cookery.
After attending his first lesson, the delighted fellow announced that he was going on a date with a classmate.
An impressed Andy asked his chum how he had managed to woo the lady in such a short period of time.
“Apparently she likes the way I cut broccoli,” said the chum.
Watch the Birdie
AMERICAN politics.
Kamala Harris got a major boost in her campaign to shoulder-charge her way through the Oval Office door, for Taylor Swift has endorsed her bid to become President of the United States.
Diary correspondent Marvin Shipley, an American living in Edinburgh, says: “I’m glad that the support of pop stars is becoming such an integral part of the democratic process.
“I certainly won’t be casting my ballot until I’ve heard the considered opinion of The Tweets, who famously sang The Birdie Song.
“I’m sure they’ve got plenty of insightful points to make about the economy and foreign policy.”
The name game
MORE thoughts on celebrity.
Reader Sue Blake says: “Movie star Ryan Gosling is 43 years old. Isn’t it time he changed his name to Ryan Goose?”
Big bang theory
QUESTION of the day from reader Julie Davies, who asks: “What happens when a microscope crashes into a telescope? They kaleidoscope.”
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