Wild, wild west
THE Herald recently published a tale about the Great Glen Cattle Ranch, an establishment like something out of a John Wayne movie, that once prospered in the Scottish Highlands.
Donald Cameron from Fort William recalls an incident that took place there in the 1950s.
The cattle-hands were enjoying their morning break. As usual there was an absence of animated conversation.
Some cowpokes read newspapers. Others stared contemplatively into the middle distance, their silence only punctuated by the occasional “Ochone, Ochone.”
The peaceful scene change dramatically when Finlay said: “Do you know what boys? MacGregor Achnabobane has had VD for three months, and he’s not told anybody.”
The walls of the bothy were splattered with tea and pieces, along with shouts of: “What!?”
Finlay was interrogated for more details of this juicy piece of local gossip.
It soon became apparent that Finlay had not come to grips with the abbreviated form of John Logie Baird’s invention, and that MacGregor was the proud owner of one of Lochaber’s first TV sets.
Lost in translation
A DIARY yarn about timekeeping reminds John Gilligan from Ayr of attending a football match at Abbey Park, the former home of the mighty Kilwinning Rangers.
This was on the day a Tannoy system was installed.
The announcer duly informed the crowd that the “next match at Abbey Park will be against Cumnock Juniors on Wednesday nicht at 6.45pm.”
The Tannoy chap then took a contemplative pause, before deciding a translation of this complex information was required, so he helpfully added: “That’s a Quarter tae Seeven.”
Face facts
WE mentioned the shock one feels upon waking, when catching a reflection of the frazzled fizzog in the bathroom mirror.
Which reminds Margaret Thomson of a tale of betrayal: “My mobile phone doesn’t recognise me first thing in the morning,” she says. “Have to key in my code to get started.”
Body double
ON social media Glasgow comedian Mark Nelson is figuring out how he can afford pricey Oasis tickets, when the band play Murrayfield next year.
“Now to decide which kidney I like the least,” he says.
One of Mark’s followers helpfully suggests: “What did you have kids for! Sell one of theirs.”
Dog Walker
EDINBURGH libraries are allowing dogs on premises, so we’re wondering what books the pooches will peruse.
David Donaldson suggest The Collar Purple by Alice Walker.
Pop pondering
OASIS continued. “My friend wondered if I was getting tickets to watch Liam and Noel,” says reader Douglas Rankin. “I said maybe…”
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