Off the rails
A RATHER famous rock band are reforming, and will perform at Murrayfield next August.
Which delights Glasgow comedian Ray Bradshaw, who says: “Oasis playing Edinburgh during the Fringe is going to be spectacular when ScotRail announce the last train to Glasgow is 10pm.”
Water palaver
AS our readers will be aware, Scotland is famous for the monster who lurks amongst us.
And, no, the Diary isn’t referring to Big Tam the Cumbernauld Yeti.
Or Nippy Angus, the Auchenshuggle Banshee.
Those beasts aren’t nearly as notorious as Nessie, who makes her home in the world’s most impressive duckpond.
Even without the regal presence of Nessie, that stretch of dark water is fascinating to explore, and The Herald recently reported that researchers will use "cutting-edge" technology to investigate the Loch Ness ecosystem.
“Does this mean they are going to wait until the loch freezes over?” inquires Tom Bain from Uddingston. “Or do they not realise the water is really soft?”
Pipe dreams
WE’RE discussing Scotland’s passion for piping. (Not indoor plumbing. The musical instrument.)
Calum Carmichael, who is Emeritus Professor of Law and Comparative Literature at Cornell University, tells us his keen appreciation for the bagpipes flowered at an early age.
“Supposedly,” he says, “as a youngster I had asked my mother if, when I grew up, I could become a piper. Her reply apparently was: ‘Yes, my boy, but you will have to choose.’”
Flight of fancy
AT a 50th birthday party in the village of Houston, Jim Morrison was involved in a discussion about the shortage of butterflies in Scotland.
Says Jim: “One of the guests explained that’s been the situation for years, ever since they shut the Caterpillar Factory in Uddingston.”
Spin cycle
ON Sunday, Lucy Boyce and her husband took their grandkids to the swing park.
Lucy suggested the youngsters might like a shottie on the roundabout.
“I hate those contraptions,” sniffed Lucy’s hubby. “They remind me of my career. Round and round in circles, never any further forward, then feeling sick at the end of it.”
Barking mad belle
THE Diary recently recalled a classic detective novel, which reminds Brian Chrystal of the young lady who said her favourite book was Tess of the Baskervilles.
Says Brian: “It took a long time to get the image of a big lassie wandering the bleak moors and howling at the moon out of my head.”
Scandinavian scran man
WE mentioned the sad death of a committed vegetarian.
“Was he a swede?” enquires reader Ian Barnett.
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