Hard to swallow

A SOPHISTICATED culinary conversation was overheard by reader Jim Dunn while he was on a Glasgow bus.

Two chaps were discussing the most exquisite dining experiences to be enjoyed in the city centre, with one of the bon viveurs saying: “Ye cannae beat KFC and McDonald’s.”

“Have you tried those Mexican joints?” asked his friend.

The first chap was shocked by such an outrageous suggestion.

“I dinnae eat that foreign stuff,” he proudly declared. “The only nacho that interests me is Nacho Novo.”

 

Age-old problem

“I HATE the fact I’m getting on in years,” admits reader Dave Fogarty. “Every time I visit an antique shop I’m terrified they won’t let me leave.”

 

Small reward

A RECENT Diary yarn analysed our nation’s passion for queuing.

Jim Livingstone from Bishopton says: “My dad often told us that, growing up in the 1920s, if you saw a queue, you joined it to see what you might get at the end of it.

“One day my dad joined such a queue, and that’s how he got his smallpox injection.”

 

Taking the Mick

FACING the music. Reader Jason Rodgers once dated an English teacher, which had its difficulties.

On one occasion they were in the car together, the radio playing a classic Rolling Stones hit.

“Turn it off,” demanded Jason’s girlfriend, adding: “This song really annoys me.”

“Not a Stones fan?” said Jason.

“It’s not that,” said his girlfriend. “It’s just so frustrating when Mick sings ‘I can’t get no satisfaction.’ What he means is: ‘I can’t get any satisfaction. He’s an educated man. There’s no excuse for poor grammar.”

 

An absolute racket

IN the mood for trying something new, reader Christine Robertson visited the local gym with her husband, where they played their very first game of badminton.

It was not a roaring success, for the cunning shuttlecock managed to evade all attempts to give it a jolly good whacking.

“I hate this game,” grunted Christine, after her racket had swung and missed for the umpteenth time.

“I know what you mean,” agreed her husband, who added: “I guess that’s why they call it badminton, not goodminton.”

David Donaldson spotted this café in Glasgow’s Nelson Street, and asks: “If they open a second branch, would it be called MULKANTOO?”David Donaldson spotted this café in Glasgow’s Nelson Street, and asks: “If they open a second branch, would it be called MULKANTOO?” (Image: Contributed)

 

Wonder-ful nosh

THE Diary’s making famous music acts edible.

John Mulholland suggests a dish that you’d have to be fairly superstitious to enjoy… Stovies Wonder.

 

The history man

AN educational tale.

Reader Greg Williamson’s daughter was reading a history book and asked him what he knew about Galileo.

"He was a poor boy from a poor family,” said Greg.