Herald Diary: The Trump Sandwich that's hard to swallow

Getaway geezer 
RANGERS played at Hampden on Saturday, and many fans were packed into the Neilston train, alighting at Mount Florida.
Diary correspondent Ian Lawson was on the train, and witnessed a memorable interaction between a Rangers diehard and a mother with her teenage daughter, who were clearly not footy fans.
The Gers supporter – who had very few teeth, though plenty of scars – introduced himself to the mother. The mother enquired why he supported Rangers, yet had a Mancunian accent. Did he live in Scotland?
“No,” he replied. “Down in England. But when I was locked up in Barlinnie, I got into Scottish football.”
“Why were you in Barlinnie?” asked the teenage daughter.
“Fitted up,” growled the bluenose. “Gave a bloke a lift when I was visiting Scotland. He asked me to stop at a bank, then sprints out a few minutes later, and off we go. 
“Next thing I know, I’m locked up for 10 years for being a getaway driver.”
When the Rangers fan got off the train at Mount Florida, the mother shuddered with relief, then said: “What an awful man.”
“Really?” said her daughter. “I thought he was really nice!”

Rocky rocket 
IT’S been reported that two American astronauts exited planet earth a few days ago, on a test mission to the International Space Station. 
They were expected back home within days.  Unfortunately, technical difficulties with the spacecraft mean the crew might have to stick around in space until 2025.  
Sympathetic to their genuine plight, reader John Mulholland says: “What a traumatic experience for the astronauts. A short jaunt to space, discovering you can’t return for months, then realising you’ve only packed four pairs of pants…”